Can’t stay on keto due to cheating or falling off the wagon?
Have some success, lose weight, but gain it back?
Are feeling out of control with your eating?
Think, “If i could just stop emotional eating, I’d reach my health and weight goals!”
You do well for a while, then life happens! And then your hand is in a bag of chips or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and you don’t know how to break the cycle?
Feel like life is overwhelming and food is the only way you have to cope?
Then this episode is for you!
Learn how to End Emotional Eating.
Ep 61 End Emotional Eating
Carole Freeman: Well, hey there, good to see you again.
Welcome, welcome to episode 61 of Keto Chat for Women. I’m so glad you’re with me today. Now, this episode is for you if you can’t stay on keto due to cheating, falling off the wagon.
You’ve had some success.
You lose weight, but then you seem to gain it back.
Maybe you’re feeling out of control with your eating.
Now, you’ve been successful in a lot of different areas in your life, but this seems to be the one. This is the thing that keeps tripping you up.
Maybe you feel a little guilt, ashamed, feel out of control with your eating, your food choices.
Maybe you’re thinking, if you could just stop emotional eating, I’d be able to reach my health and weight loss goals.
And maybe you do well for a while, maybe part of the day, maybe [00:01:00] part of the week, maybe a few weeks or months. But then something happens, life happens, something gets in your way, and the next thing you know, you’ve got your hand in a bag of something you don’t want to be eating, or a pint of something else, or you’re going through fast food, or whatever.
And you just don’t know how to break the cycle.
Well, guess what? Stick around because this episode is for you. This episode is about how to end emotional eating.
Again, welcome, welcome to episode 61 of Keto Chat for Women. I am your host, Carole Freeman. I have a master’s in nutrition and clinical health psychology.
I’m a certified clinical hypnotherapist and a board certified ketogenic nutrition specialist. And I’m a keto coach near you. That specializes in helping women 40 plus follow a keto diet for sustainable weight loss.
And now our medical disclaimer, this show is meant for educational entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice nor intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any condition. If you have questions or concerns related to your specific medical condition, please seek out. Your primary health care provider qualified functional medicine provider.
All right, guess what today? I actually have a slide presentation for you
How to end emotional eating. I’m going to talk about my program, the pathway to end emotional eating. I’m going to teach you as much as I can in this episode. And if you like what you hear and this kind of strikes a chord and you’re like, hey, gosh, this is something I need.
At the end of this episode, I’m going to tell you how you can get some more help. How we can help you with this. So all right. What are we talking about today? What am I talking about today? I’m going to talk about who this information is for. I’m going to talk about who I am, because some of you listening, maybe this is the first exposure you’ve had to me.
And I’m going to kind of give some ground rules, not ground rules. I’m going to give a definition of emotional eating and Guess what? It’s not [00:03:00] what you think, right? So people have preconceived notions about what emotional eating is, and they think it’s somebody who’s crying into a bucket of ice cream at the end of the night.
And that’s one teeny tiny part of what emotional eating is. And actually pretty much everyone is an emotional eater. So I’m going to go through what that looks like. In more detail, I’m going to talk about why do we do it? Where do we learn this? Why do we do it? And I’m going to go over my what’s eating you framework.
And so this is the basis of the my program, the pathway to end emotional eating. So I’m going to teach you that framework today, very abbreviated version of it. And then for those of you that are interested in a little bit more information about how to end emotional eating on a more in depth level, I’m going to give you a program overview, talk about some bonuses.
So stick around to the end and give you the next steps about how to get started. All right, so who is this for? It’s not for everybody, but if you’re listening, it might be for you. So who’s this for? You’re [00:04:00] somebody who, now you’re really successful in a lot of areas of your life, but you can’t just seem to figure this piece out.
Who is this information for?
You’re in the right place if you’re somebody who’s really successful in a lot of areas of your life. But you can’t seem to figure out this piece. You know what you need to do. You know what you should be eating, but for some reason you just can’t stick with it. You might be feeling frustrated because you keep cheating or falling off the wagon.
You’ve had some success in the past. You’ve lost weight, but it seems baffle you about how to be able to stick with it long term because you always gain the weight back. You can’t stick with it for too long. And. You may be feeling a bit of guilt, maybe you feel out of control, maybe you feel ashamed of your eating.
And you know that if you could figure this out, if you could stop, if you could stop emotional eating, you’d easily be able to reach your health and weight loss goals. And [00:05:00] again, you’ve had some success. You’re able to stick with it for a while, but then life happens. Something is always around the corner, feels like it slams you in the face and it feels like your eating habits kind of take a backseat at that time.
Something really stressful comes up, something emotional. And then you’re just turning to food to cope with life and you really wish you could break the cycle. And maybe you’re feeling that life is just too overwhelming at times and you don’t have any other way to cope with it except for food. You’re in the right place if any of this resonates with you.
So who am I?
Again, this might be the first time that you’re having an experience of me. So let me introduce myself. My name is Carole Freeman. And like I said at the top of the episode here I am a certified nutritionist. a certified clinical hypnotherapist, a board certified ketogenic nutrition specialist.
And you might be wondering like, Hey girl, did you go overboard with all of your education and training here? It’s kind of seems like it, right? I have an undergrad, a bachelor’s in nutrition [00:06:00] and then I did a double master’s program in North of Seattle, Washington. I have a master’s in nutrition and a master’s in clinical health psychology.
You might be wondering why, why now I have been trying to figure out this puzzle for most of my adult life this has been my passion to help women feel and physically and emotionally and mentally awesome and capable and empowered and I know part of that was nutrition and I also know part of it is psychology and So what we eat fuels our brain and what goes on in our brain is influences what we eat.
So they’re inseparable, even though we create, we treat them educationally. And then usually for most careers you’ve got the nutritionist and then you’ve got the therapist and there isn’t a lot of overlap, but the program that I did[00:07:00]
It was one of a kind and it’s, I, as far as I know, it still is, and everyone who’s in that program recognizes that these are inseparable. You need to address both. So not only what you feed your body influences how your brain works, but the way your brain works influences how you feed your body. And so you need to have both of those.
And because this has been my passion for as long as I can remember in my adult life, this was the perfect degree. And I thought this was going to give me all of the answers to help people learn how to feed themselves correctly. And in addition to the degrees. I’ve also studied so much on my own, and even before I got my degrees, I was studying everything I could get my hands on about what causes cravings, what are they, where do they originate, what are the neurotransmitters involved, what influences appetite.
Addiction, how that feeds into what we feed our body, behavior and habit change, and so much more. [00:08:00] Part, part of my education did include mindfulness, mindful eating, intuitive eating, health at every size, and understanding how food manufacturers. Make their foods in a way that makes us crave them and overeat them and be addicted to them.
And in addition to my education, I’d been studying on my own before school. I mean, decades before I got my degrees and also then afterwards too. And I was applying everything I’d studied and learned on my own. And I was trying to do my best at helping people just. Feel empowered, but I’ll show you the next slide here because on the left, you know things weren’t lining up with everything that I’d learned and so it turns out that the missing piece of the puzzle for me and Helping as many people as I have was a terrible car crash Can you believe that a car crash was a blessing in disguise [00:09:00] and it was a horrible thing to go through I was rear ended by a distracted driver.
Don’t text and drive people. And I was applying everything that I’d learned in school. However, it wasn’t really addressing the. Overweight piece of it. And I discovered a ketogenic diet because I’d had a traumatic brain injury and that car accident I was in. And that was the final piece of the puzzle. So when I applied, I plugged in the keto diet, a whole foods based low carb way of eating.
That was the final piece of the puzzle that complete when I applied it with everything else I’d ever learned. Oh my gosh, transformation, my own health transformation, as you can see in that photo. So on the right was one year later, and I thought I’d got it all figured out for everyone. And I’ll tell you what, thousands of women I’ve worked with at this point, amazing stories of transformation.
And [00:10:00] now I specialize in, and this, the, the car accident was. And since then, I have niched down and help women 40 plus lose weight and keep it off primarily with keto, but also finding just what is the optimal way of eating for them that keeps them healthy on the inside, outside, bring some high quality of life and.
It may, it’s usually going to be in the realm of low carb, but everybody has a different thing that works best for them. So the programs that are developed in the last eight years, originally the Fast Track to Keto Success was the first program I developed. If you’ve been with me for a while, I had a different name in the beginning, but this is the current name of this program.
My Keto Coaching Programs
And the goal of the Fast Track to Keto Success is to set the foundation for long-term low carb eating. So it helps people get into ketosis as fast as possible. And their cravings and maximize fat loss. And so this is a foundational program that pretty much everybody that I’ve worked with[00:11:00] starts with.
And I also then have created the get unstuck program. And this is a fat loss accelerator program that is designed to help break through plateaus. So a lot of my fast track clients have also then gone through the get unstuck program. It’s just a more intensive fat loss accelerator program that I’ve developed as well.
And. Finally, what we’re talking about today is ending emotional eating, end emotional eating. And I’ve created the pathway to end emotional eating, another course program. And the way that this came to be was that the first two programs that I show on here, the fast track and the get unstuck program, they were highly effective.
However, I still had a certain amount of people that would struggle to be able to stick with things long-term. And I realized. Some of us need a more intensive psychological or emotional focus, and everybody’s so unique and wonderful and different. [00:12:00] And so some people are able to make the change with their eating habits, and they’re very disciplined and they stick with that and get great results.
And other people just need a little bit more help with the psychological part to be able to stay on track. So that’s where this program came from. And I’ll tell you what today it’s 2023 and I haven’t run this program in two years, but I started having some people inquiring, Hey, you know, that program.
That was really great. When are you going to run that again? And so the fast track program is one that people it’s available. Well, I limit the number of enrollees. I only have 10 people max per month that are able to join the fast track because I work so closely with my clients. The the get unstuck program is one that I’ll run once or twice a year and the pathway.
Likely we’ll be running once a year. It is a very intensive program and I haven’t run it in two years. And so it’s, it’s time I’ve had some people that are asking about it and I think with all the things we’ve been through in the world in the last three years, I think this is time that we really want to start [00:13:00] nurturing our emotions and our feelings.
The pathway to end emotional eating.
It’s a powered by a six part, what’s eating you framework that I’ve specifically developed based on all my education and also just working with people for real and it helps people learn how to quickly handle emotions. Without spending years in therapy, so even though I’m trained to be a therapist, I want shortcuts for people.
Therapy is a lot of work, and not that it’s bad, but if there was a easier way to do it, this is, this is what this program is designed to help you with. And so it’s without spending years in therapy so that you can easily stick with your healthy eating plan. Now, the pathway to end emotional eating, so while the Fast Track and the Get Unstuck program are specifically keto, Low carb programs.
The pathway to end emotional eating actually is one that’s diet agnostic. It actually, we don’t even talk about food or make any recommendations about what to eat or anything like that. There may be people that are [00:14:00] sharing what’s worked for them, but it, it’s not a. Diet program. It’s not a food program.
It has nothing to do with what you’re eating.
It has to do with what’s going on in your head that influences what you’re eating. All right. So let’s do that definition part that I talked about. Let’s cover what is emotional eating. And again, it’s probably something almost everybody does. I mean, I’m, there’s the people out there that you know, the gym rats maybe that have never been overweight and have a very disciplined bodybuilder style diet, there’s, there may be a few people out there, but emotional eating is eating food when you’re not physically hungry or when your body doesn’t need fuel.
So basically anytime you’re eating food. For any other reason besides hunger, that’s what we’re going to put under the umbrella term of emotional eating. And it’s typically in response to emotions or stress or [00:15:00] situations. And a lot of people that would say, Oh, I don’t, I’m not an emotional eater, but I do eat for stress.
And also boredom is an emotion.
And a lot of people that think they aren’t emotional eaters. Maybe their second work and they’re frustrated about how long a project is taking or it’s one they don’t really want to do and they want to procrastinate or maybe they’re bored with the work that they’re doing and they want to get up and go have a snack to help them get through that.
Guess what? We’re going to lump that in with emotional eating as well too. So and again, a lot of times people think that like, well, emotional eating is just, you know, somebody crying over a. Bucket of ice cream or something like that. And, and sad and lonely at home. Again, that’s a small portion of what emotional eating can be, but it is a lot more so anytime that you’ve reached for a food or snack or feel like I just want to have a snack those are generally going to be eating for emotional reasons.
It also can be in response to positive or negative emotions.
We think of emotional [00:16:00] eating as we feel sad, lonely, angry, and I want to eat something to make myself feel better, pick my mood up, but guess what? If you’re like overly happy and you need some food to celebrate, that also is emotional eating. So it doesn’t have to just be the negative emotions.
So it can be angry, sad, lonely, physical pain, as well as another common one that’s emotional. We’ll put in the emotions and feeling eating when you feel deprived, you feel like it’s not fair. I wish I could have that. Everybody else can guess what? That’s emotional eating as well. You fell in love. Maybe you feel social pressure.
You don’t want to be. different than your friends, there’s an emotion or feeling that goes along with that, that drives that choice to try to fit in and the happy celebratory, right? So we’re going to talk about in a slide or two, how sugar specifically acts on our opiate receptors in our, in our brain.
Opiate receptors are. Pain killers. And [00:17:00] so this is really fascinating is that why would we have celebratory times, birthdays and holidays and anniversaries? Why do we have high sugar things that go with those events? Well, it’s because we’ve learned, well, don’t get too happy. Don’t get too excited. You want to dumb down and numb some of those feelings.
And so let’s add some sugar, some opiates onto that occasion. So they can become back to baseline. All right. It’s pretty fascinating actually. And it’s a learned behavior. This is not something we’re naturally wired to do, but we learn it and it gets reinforced over time. And like I’ve pointed out, it’s extremely common.
Almost every single person does it. But if you’re here listening to this point at at this point of this. episode, you’re probably, even though it’s common and learned [00:18:00] and can be normal, it’s probably causing some distress in your life. Like I pointed out that this is for you. You’re in the right place if these things apply to you.
So, but is it bad?
Is emotional eating bad?
Do we want to stop it? Is it the worst thing in the world?
Emotional eating is neither good It just is, and again, but if you’re here, it’s likely because the consequences of emotional eating are causing you distress in your life, perhaps anguish, feeling out of control, waistline, frustration with having to buy bigger clothes, maybe physical pain is causing you in your body, maybe some health considerations, maybe you’ve got diabetes that feels out of control, and you’re just ready to do something different.
So again, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It just means it’s a pattern in your life that you would like to change. So why, why do we do it? It causes us all this misery in our life. Why do we do it? [00:19:00] Excuse me.
Well, we’ve learned that certain foods. Can be used to numb, avoid, or dissociate from overwhelming emotions. Sugar acts on the opiate receptors in our brain to dull pain. So it’s a opiate Receptors are, are painkillers and fun fact that when they circumcise babies in the hospital, they actually give them a little bit of sugar water.
It’s their first dose of that and they don’t give them painkillers. They give them sugar. It’s their very first time that they’ve had that and that’s what they use to dull and numb the pain for those little babies going through that surgical procedure. And. Another category of things that also can be used for this emotional eating.
So emotional eating is almost never broccoli and steak.
Emotional eating is going to be foods that act on the addiction parts of our brain. So sugar category and then another [00:20:00] category is going to be highly palatable foods, which that is shorthand for things that combine sugar and or refined carbs plus fat.
So that combination in foods together. Our brain is wired to crave it, over consume it, can eat as much as possible of it and not be able to have an off switch. It really bypasses and hijacks our appetite control. And so these are going to be the primary categories of foods that people go to when they’re engaging in emotional eating.
So that’s another telltale sign that if these are the foods that you’re drawn towards, that you’re craving, they’re going to be things that are going to be emotional foods. And So, the highly palatable foods, one of the tests for that is going to be something where people say like, well, I’m just craving comfort foods.
So things that are high in sugar and or refined carbs plus fat together, those trigger endorphins in our brain. So endorphins are also our pain, natural [00:21:00] painkillers as well. And they make us feel really numb. And think of the feeling after you’ve had a big bowl. cheesy pasta, you know, and pretty much every junk food that’s available in grocery stores or in fast food places is going to be this category of highly palatable foods.
And you know, even everything in the bakery section is going to be the combination of sugar and refined carbs and fat. And these are powerful drug like agents in a brain and like I said, they may act on the same part of the brain as drugs. And so where do we learn this? Well, it turns out that we learned it from our parents.
Where else would we learn this from now?
I just want to say, and I say this many times is that our parents aren’t bad people. They were doing the best that they could. They had good intentions. They learned this from their parents who learned it from their parents who learned it from their parents. And so.[00:22:00]
We’re at a time where we can, we can do better. We can learn some different behaviors. We can become. Better adapted humans, and we can do better if we apply some information to that. And so, you know, how many of you grew up with phrases like, be quiet or I’ll give you something to cry about? Okay, so that message was, don’t cry, don’t feel sad, don’t be upset.
You need to, to numb out or avoid those feelings. The message was, those aren’t good. Bad, bad. You’re bad if you have those feelings. But also to the other extreme, how many of you heard things like calm down, be quiet. Do you remember a time when you were really excited about something? You were so happy elated bouncing around and maybe you’re screaming with excitement, giddiness.
Calm down. Be quiet. Sit down. Behave, right? I mean, there’s a lot of different versions of these, but, or, you know, parents are, are driven. We don’t like to see our children [00:23:00] in pain either. And so when our children are upset, how many of us, or do you remember your own life where you were told, Oh no, you know, I’m sorry, you’re hurt here.
Have a cookie. Let me let Grammy make you a sandwich or a snack. And so we showed love, but was also a way that we. Wanted to ease the pain for our children because we didn’t know any better way of helping them deal with discomfort or their feelings or emotions and So it may be something we’ve done ourselves and it also was something that our parents did for us And so you can see how they meant.
Well, you mean well It’s time to do something different because in the world that we live in now with so much sugar and so many highly palatable foods We’re becoming A world that is very overweight, very unhealthy and very unhappy. We don’t feel good in our bodies. And so it’s time to do and learn something different.
How to end emotional eating.
Let’s stop it now. Let’s stop with this generation. So in the pathway to end emotional eating, the program learning outcomes are to understand why we eat, to cope with emotions, recognize that sugar and highly palatable foods are addictive substances, and learn how our bodies.
Learn our body’s primary language and what it’s trying to tell us. So guess what? Why do we have feelings and emotions anyways? Why? Well, that’s our body’s language and we never learned to speak it. It’s a totally foreign language. And imagine that you had somebody that lived with you that spoke a language.
That you didn’t know, and they were constantly, they needed something from you, but you couldn’t figure out what it was. You couldn’t understand what they were saying, and, but they really, really, really needed something. They would continually tug at you, they’d be frustrated, they’d maybe start poking you, maybe [00:25:00] they would start causing you pain, and they would just keep repeating in their language what they needed, but you would be like, I don’t know, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me, here, have a cookie.
Have a cookie. And for a moment they’d be like, well, okay, that tasted good. That numbed my brain. I can forget the need that I had for a moment. But pretty soon that need, that need still not met. The need was not a cookie. The need is still there. And so that person who speaks a different language is going to still come back and go, Hey, but I still need this thing, but you don’t understand the language.
So this is what’s happening when we have feelings and emotions is that our body is trying to tell us something, but we never learned to speak this language. And the cool thing is, is that, and this is the core of the program is learning to understand that language that your body’s trying to tell you something.
It has a need that it needs to be met.
And then we can start to identify, well, what is the need and how [00:26:00] do I give my body what it really needs? How do I give that person that speaks this other language? How do I start learning their language and understand to meet their needs and give them what they need as a human being?
Right? So that’s the core of this. It’s pretty cool. Once you start. Learning and understanding what’s really going on. So another program learning outcome is going to be identify and name emotions and feelings. And the cool thing is is that once you take the time to step back and start to just name the emotions or feelings you’re having, oftentimes that’s all that it takes to remove the urge to turn to food, to cope with that feeling or emotion.
You’re going to learn how to pinpoint the triggers.
That lead to the feelings and emotions and the urges so that you can stop this habit cascade. I talk, I talk about it being a habit loop in the program. You can learn how to stop this habit cascade before it even starts. So the mistake that a lot of people make is that, and the assumption it’s not maybe not a mistake, but it’s the assumption people have is that.
The, the way to [00:27:00] overcome emotional eating is that when you have an urge to eat something that you know is not going to make you feel good to just stop it, to divert yourself, to come up with a different thing to do, distract yourself. Right. And this can work a little bit, but it’s actually. Not the place.
It’s the weakest point to try to change this behavior.
You’re going to mostly be unsuccessful if this is your strategy. And we’ve got to go back. We’ve got to go back a few steps actually, and learn to notice the patterns of what we’re doing and head that off and be able to address our true needs as a human.
So we’ve been doing it all wrong. No wonder it’s so hard to be able to stop emotional eating. And I had a couple of people and I comment on a YouTube video that I did yesterday, a live stream. And a couple of people somebody in the Facebook group as well, just kind of sharing like, Oh, is this what we’re going to learn is we’re going to learn, I, I’ve tried this.
I’ve tried to be able to head off. [00:28:00] I tried to, you know, have a distraction for myself. Basically I just, I have a list of things I try to do instead of eat food. And really, unfortunately it’s setting yourself up for failure. So this program is going to teach you how to do what you actually need to do, be able to, uh, address this and to solve it.
And again, you know, learning to address your true human needs so they can meet them. If guess what, if you’re getting your needs met, you don’t have urges to use food to numb feelings or emotions. It goes away. So how much easier is it if you’re not fighting an urge, if you’re just feeling calm and centered and peaceful in your human existence?
And also one of the learning outcomes for the program is you’re going to develop and implement new blue square emotional allowing habits. So we’re going to go over what that is here in a moment. So you’re going to be able to identify what those are and be able to lean that way. [00:29:00] So, the pathway to end emotional eating, what it does, well, it’s powered by my what’s eating you framework.
This is a specific framework that I have developed,
again, implementing everything I’ve studied and real life application with myself and with other people. And so it helps you stop using food to cope with life. And emotions and stress have healthy expressions and experiences of feelings without being compelled to use food, make food choices that make you feel good, support your health and well being so that you can lose the weight and keep it off.
So here’s what’s, here’s my what’s eating you framework. I’m going to go over this and then I have a graphic on the next page, a little flow chart that I’m going to walk you through too. So the what’s eating you framework, do you notice the acronym eating is an acronym. Engage, analyze, true, I, new, growth.
Okay, so the first step or phase of this is engage with my emotions. This is where you’re learning how to name. Just name them. That’s all you have to [00:30:00] do. The first step. It’s so easy. Learn to name your emotions. You don’t have to do anything different. The cool thing about this program is that we do the back work and that leads to your eating habits changing.
And this is the, what I’m a big fan of. In all of my programs and all of my work, like, let’s get at the underlying cause of why things are the way that they are. And then that makes it so much easier to make the change that you want, whereas most people focus on, let’s just change thing and make it real, you know, it’s really, really hard.
So we’re going to go back the first steps of the first, I’m not even going to tell you, like, try to not eat these things first step. Just learning to name feelings, we’ve got some emotion feeling charts that we use and makes it really easy to begin to start to put names to the things that you’re feeling and experiencing.
And the second part of this is being able to analyze the trigger. So we’re going to go back. What was the thing, the situation, the person, the [00:31:00] place, the event, the time of the day, the time of the year, what happened that led to these feelings and emotions. And after those two parts of it. We’re then going to be able to identify our true needs, our human needs.
What do we need as a human being?
Again, that language our body is speaking, it’s going to pinpoint us, it’s going to lead us to be able to understand what our true needs are. And part four then is… Realizing that you matter. I matter. Being able to take some time for yourself, advocate for yourself, be able to get your needs met, and this leads to new habits and then just the growth is fantastic.
Alright, here’s the flow chart that I promised to explain to you here. So this is my own, I should put a copyright on this. This is [00:32:00] my own framework that I have developed based on, again, everything I’ve studied in school and my internships in psychology as well as. As well as everything else I’ve studied too.
So what’s eating you framework?
So let’s start with this blue arrow that’s in the middle of this. And this is something in the program that we go through very slowly, each little part, and we learned how to unravel all this. So I’m going to give you a high level view of this and just know that if it feels like, Oh my gosh, that’s a lot.
And it might look like a lot right now. This is something that very slowly at your own pace that we go through in the program together. And so the blue arrow. Is what happens that we have no control over. This is an autopilot. It just, the trigger leads to emotions, leads to the urge. This is autopilot.
You couldn’t stop it if you wanted to. It’s just part of being human. And so the trigger, another way of thinking of that is it just something happens. Okay. Trigger doesn’t have to be this trigger thing [00:33:00] that’s going or going around online right now about you know, Oh, I’m triggered by that. I’m triggered.
No, it’s, it’s meaning something happens. That then leads to emotions and the emotions that we have lead to our urge to do something. Now, the urge could be to choose something that numbs, avoids, or dissociates us from the feelings that we’re having, the emotions we’re having. The urge could also be To get your needs met.
Now, most of us, you’re here because we’ve learned through again, our loving parents that meant well, or maybe some of us didn’t have such loving parents, but anyways, we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and we’ll, we’ll assume that they were loving parents that meant well, we learned that when you had a feeling or emotion, we want it to numb out.
We want to avoid it. We want to dissociate from it. Calm down, have a cookie. I’m sorry you’re crying. Have a cookie, feel better. So our [00:34:00] urge then, we’ve learned that if we have a feeling, we should get rid of it. And so I call this yellow square here, I call it the emotional blocking behavior. So we may have an urge to do something that makes it so the emotions go away.
I don’t know how to recognize this language my body’s speaking. I’m going to do something that makes me not have to listen to the language because I don’t know how to understand it. So these are anything that you would do the way that you know that you’re choosing the yellow square, the emotional blocking behavior is that it’s something that makes the feeling feel less.
It makes you feel numb. It avoids the feeling or helps you dissociate from having it all together. So these can be, now this program specifically going to be working on people that are struggling with using food. To do these things, but the list is very long of substances and behaviors that can actually do this.
So it can be drugs, alcohol. It can be triangulation. Have you ever had the experience where you go and you call a friend and [00:35:00] you complain about another friend that they know that’s triangulation that just makes us you know, numb out, avoid, or dissociate the real problem or the emotions. It can be gambling, it can be compulsive shopping, it can be compulsive sexual urges.
There’s a long list, again, of things that we do that make it so that we don’t have to deal or feel our emotions, okay? And the other, the other direction the urge can go, and again, most people didn’t learn this way, but the other urge is to actually do something that identifies, well, what happened And what feeling did I have, and this feeling, it means that I need this.
Now again, this is the part that the program really goes through in depth, and so this is the part where people are like, What are you talking about? How do I even know what I need? How do I know what I even feel? Again. Don’t worry, this is where the work comes in, is that we start to unravel all those things.
We learn to name the feelings, and then we start to take some time to reflect on what was the thing that happened right before, and so on and so forth. So, the way that you [00:36:00] know that you’re engaging in the blue square, in the emotional allowing behavior, is that… You actually are going to feel your feelings.
You’re going to have them. You’re not doing something to numb out. And again, we’re not used to doing this. This is the part that’s, it feels a little clunky in the beginning, but again, we walk you through slowly step by step and how to do this and build on one thing after another, and in the long run, you’re going to feel.
So much better because you’re going to be meeting your human needs. It’s like that person speaking that foreign language to you is going to be so happy and pleased because they’re like, finally, they understand what I need. And I’m going to get my needs met. I’m going to feel complete and whole again. So the blue arrow is what happens automatically autopilot.
We have no control.
You couldn’t stop it. If you tried. And this program is going to help you begin to move towards more of the emotional [00:37:00] allowing behaviors, the blue square again. But again, this is not something where you wait until you’re at the green square at the end. And you divert yourself and make yourself do the blue thing.
So the interesting thing is because we go back and spend some time understanding the feelings and emotions that led to the urge that allows us to be able then to choose the other way and not choose food to cope with it. All right. So I’m making an invitation to you now to join the pathway to end emotional eating.
More nuts and bolts the structure of this program.
It is an eight week program that we go through together You get weekly group calls with me. So part of this program you want to know that you’re not alone the group support has so many different things that are extremely valuable and so We do this as a group together.
This is why the program doesn’t run on an ongoing basis is that [00:38:00] all of us are going through this together at the same time. And so we get eight weekly group calls with me. And if you’re wondering, when are they, what time are they? Well, as people enroll in the course, we take a poll and we pick a time that works best for most of the people.
And Also you’ll get recordings of those. So if you ever have to miss one. Hopefully not, but you’ll actually get the access to the recording of those and they aren’t shared with anyone outside the group as well. So this is what’s called a closed group. So the people that are there, you’re going to know and learn and get closer to during this whole program.
There are also six video modules. So there’s a full training program that goes with this. There’s action items and a full workbook as well. And. Just know that this is going to be a go at your own pace program as well, because this work is going to go faster or slower or harder for different people.
And so you get to stay at any one level as long as you want, right? So maybe the, the, the first step is the naming [00:39:00] and identifying emotions and feelings. Maybe that’s all that you’re ready to do at this time through the program. And that’s okay. Wherever you are. Whatever part you’re at, whatever you’re working on is right where you need to be.
Some people will make it through all six modules during the program. And that’s fine. That’s where the level and speed that they were able to process and handle this. But just know that wherever you are, what part you’re working on is what you need to work on, and you can go at your own pace through that.
So you get. Lifetime access to all the modules too, so that if you need more time to work through this you have access to that. Also, we have a private telegram group. It’s a app that we use for a group. So it’s a private group. Only people that are enrolled in this program will be in that. So it’s not an open, public Facebook group or anything like that.
It is a private group for ongoing discussion and support. And also then, what we’ve developed with this program, Find works, even better, is, People need [00:40:00] lots and lots of support, and I want to feel like a big cushy hug and support and pillows surrounding you at all times as you go through this. So you feel very safe and supported.
And so we also do peer support triads for an extra layer of support. So these are people that in this program. And so we make small little mini groups that you all can check in with each other. During the week in between the group calls. So who is this for? You might be wondering like, Oh, I don’t know.
Is this for me? Well, if you’re, you’re sick and tired of food ruling your life, you’re a hundred percent ready. Oh, stop the end, the emotional eating. You’re also in a place where you’re willing to invest the time, the effort and some money in solving this problem in your life. You feel like this is the number one issue, keeping you from being able to stick with your eating plan.
You’re somebody who really finds power. You feel empowered when you get education and understand things, step by step instruction [00:41:00] and support, and also a supportive community of like minded, strong, successful women. And maybe, maybe we’ll let a few men slip in there if they’re the right fit. But now, who this is not for?
This is not going to be for everyone.
So if you’re somebody who’s looking for an easy fix and a magic bullet, And you just feel like you invest the money in this and then you don’t show up for the calls and you don’t go through the training modules and you just feel like that’s going to fix it. I’m sorry.
It’s not going to do anything. And also if you’re not willing. At this point to devote 1 percent of your time for the next eight weeks to studying and implementing what you’ll be learning to end emotional eating, you might be saying like 1%, that’s not much, but this, this program is going to require that you invest about two hours a week.
Now two hours a week, maybe it’s like, Oh wow, that sounds like a lot more. Guess what? We get 168 hours every single week of our life. And so [00:42:00] two hours out of those 168 is 1 percent of your time. So I, I, I say this kind of tongue in cheek that I want you to realize, like, it’s kind of a ridiculous little amount of your time, even though it feels like a lot.
So 1 percent of your time. So if you’re not willing to devote 1 percent of your time for the next eight weeks to this, It’s, this is not going to be for you. Also if you’re somebody who’s not coachable, if you’re just in a place where you’re like, yeah, but I don’t want to do that and I don’t want to do this and I don’t want to actually name my feelings, you know, if you want to take some, if you want to make up your own rules about how to go through this program and you’re not willing to follow the structure it’s.
Again, it’s not going to work because this isn’t for you and also if you’re somebody you’re you’re not a joiner You’re not a group person. I don’t want to I don’t feel like I have anything in common with these people I don’t want to share. I don’t want to come to the group meetings. Also. This is this is not gonna be for you So here’s a couple of people that have gone through this in the past.
I reached out to them and asked hey Can you share? Share some of the things that how this, this program [00:43:00] impacted you. So Penny says I’ve always suspected that I used food as an a sedative to avoid emotions. I did not want to face the pathway to an emotional eating program really helped me face those emotions.
And once realized helped me to identify the triggers to emotional eating. Once those triggers were identified, it was much easier to find strategies to face and conquer them. KH says of all of your programs, this one has been, has, has had the greatest impact for me. I am now able to pause and notice emotions instead of trying to hide from them.
It has given me a sense of control over my food choices and helped me maintain my weight loss for years now.
Join the pathway. Endemoeating.com .
So if you’re watching the replay of this add, add your comments or questions in the. And I will be interacting and replying to those in the hours and days to come. So thank you all for listening and for being here. And this concludes this episode.
So [00:44:00] today on this episode, episode 61 of Keto Chat for Women, I talked about how to end emotional eating. You know, give me your ahas about this. And yesterday it was. Our live stream that we did about this some, a lot of people had some really great insights too.
So if you like what you heard today, you’d like to get more personalized support for your emotional eating, be able to stick with your keto diet, then go to emo eating. com. Also, if you have some more questions again, add them in the chat or send me a direct message and I’ll get those questions answered for you too.
So thank you again for being here and we’ll see you next time. Bye now.
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