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Susan Jones is a tenacious headlining comedian, writer, master of ceremonies, and motivational force with over 2 decades of national touring experience.

As a recent bride, dog lover, Pez collector, single mom, strip club DJ, and survivor the 80s and 90s, Susan has a broad range of life experience to draw from. Susan reached almost 600 lbs. and in 2016 started her weight loss mission. She has lost over 200 lbs. so far, and takes you with her on this journey every pound of the way down. Susan has opened for Dana Carvey, Rob Schneider, Brad Garrett, Jeffery Ross, Rick Overton, Chad Prather, and many more.

Susan recently released her first half hour network special on RideTV. She has also appeared on Up Late NW and JokestersTV. She has recorded a stand-up album called 50 Shades of Gravy. Susan was a regional finalist for NBC Standup, and has won the Hard Rock comedy contest and JackFM’s Funniest Comedian in Washington.


Carole:                                  Welcome everyone to another episode of Keto Chat. I’m your host, Carole Freeman, certified nutritionist, creator of the Fast Track to Keto Success program. Today in studio … I love when I got a guest that can be here local, live, in studio. Well, it’s not live. We’re like right now …

Susan Jones:                      We’re live.

Carole:                                  Susan Jones, Susan Cupcake Jones. Are you going to be changing the middle name soon? Or [inaudible 00:00:32]-

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, you know, that is really hard, because they still … even Wednesday night, some of my Cupcake followers brought cupcakes to the show, and I just look at them like, “Oh, man. I cannot even remember what it’s like to eat that much sugar in one little sitting.” I mean, cupcakes are huge amounts of … but I can make keto cupcakes. But cupcake’s kind of a feeling. It’s kind of a personality, and I’m still shaped like a cupcake.

Carole:                                  Sweet.

Susan Jones:                      But I think I got … my joke is, they call me Cupcake because you can’t trust me with a real cake.

Carole:                                  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a full size one?

Susan Jones:                      I will eat it. Yeah.

Carole:                                  Well, for people who don’t know who you are, you’re a comedian. You’ve been doing the keto on your own here, and lost … had pretty significant progress on it so far.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, we’re keto people. We live a keto lifestyle, but my weight loss journey started with the sleeve. But I was a few pounds below 600. And some people are like, “Oh, you just didn’t push it.” And I’m like, “No, you never want to get to 600.” My adrenal system wasn’t working, and my thyroid wasn’t working. Obviously it was out of control, and I drove myself to Mexico-

Carole:                                  Oh, wow. Okay.

Susan Jones:                      … and had the weight loss surgery done. At about 160 pounds, the first year, off … I was moving more, but still had a lot of pain and a lot of inflammation, and I knew starting over I would have to make sure my diet was changed, too. Because you can stretch your stomach back out. It’s a muscle. So my husband weighed 482 pounds at that time. So last February, we started keto.

Susan Jones:                      My sister was selling a nutritional vitamin product-

Carole:                                  Okay. We’ll leave it at that.

Susan Jones:                      And it came … We’ll do this a lot today. And it came with the keto diet. We ran out of the things, and we kept losing weight. And we’re like, “Oh, it’s keto.” It really is-

Carole:                                  It’s not the vitamin.

Susan Jones:                      Vitamin. Well, yeah, but no, I mean, that certainly with the energy, and certainly helps … the liquid vitamins you’re absorbing more, and you do need them. But I was on bariatric vitamins, which are specifically designed for people that aren’t absorbing. I mean, my stomach’s only four ounces. So … His wasn’t, though. A lot of people are like, “Oh, you cheated.” And it’s like, “No. If you think eating four ounces of food is cheating, that good luck. Go try it.”

Susan Jones:                      Actually, I don’t know if you know, a lot of … obviously you do. But you fast for 10 days before the surgery, so that you can shrink your kidney and liver down so that they can get past it to your stomach, and it’s a good way to know how you’re going to do. A lot of people get the surgery done, and then they go back and gain the weight. We just lost comedian, Ralphie May. He had the surgery done, and then gained the weight back, and that’s super dangerous. You can pop your stomach, and here’s a kitty.

Susan Jones:                      The keto kitty on the keto video. What’s this one’s name?

Carole:                                  That’s Bella.

Susan Jones:                      Hi, Bella.

Carole:                                  She has a funky haircut. Here, I’ll see if we can get the video to go on her. She has a funky haircut, because she’s 15 years old.

Susan Jones:                      Oh, you need a kitty massage.

Carole:                                  She has way more hair when it’s fully grown than she can manage, so I’ve got to shave her down every six months, too. So this is kind of halfway, well, maybe a quarter of the way grown out. So it looks pretty bad, but …

Susan Jones:                      So we started keto in February of last year, and we have taken … We didn’t take a break until our wedding anniversary, and we went to Cabo and did a full a two weeks of all-inclusive buffet. We came home and we felt like crap.

Carole:                                  That’s where I went. I went to Cabo last year for an all-inclusive. Were we there at the same time? Oh, that was this year.

Susan Jones:                      So we’ve done … and then we … Cancun trip, where we went to a wedding, and we took a … But every time we take a break, we come home and we’re like … But we have been a little stuck, in the last three months. So we just started, we got new fitness watches this week. What?

Carole:                                  Okay. Oh, that’s a cool one. That’s like a modern day Swatch watch.

Susan Jones:                      You will not believe what this does. This has OK Google on it. Can I say Google? It’s a product name. We’re so careful these days with our …

Carole:                                  I was going to say I’m not that big yet, no I haven’t got in trouble yet for product names.

Susan Jones:                      I have, and it’s embarrassing. It’s like being called in to a corner. You’re reminded of when you got caught as a child. You just sit there like, “I’m so sorry.”

Carole:                                  Smoking or swearing …

Susan Jones:                      “I thought I was helping you.”

Carole:                                  Maybe it’ll be bleeped out in posts, then. I don’t know.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, we were talking about, last night at the Mariners game … One of the players got in trouble. It’s in the news, and he got 80 games suspension. And as comics, we break down things, and we were trying to figure out how they came up with 80 days. So my first reaction was, “Well, what’s a season?” And a season is 162, so they had to be sitting there like parents talking, “Should we do the whole season?” “No. Let’s do a half a season.” “Okay, what’s that?” “81 games.” “No, that’s too much. It sounds weird. Let’s just do 80.”

Carole:                                  Or maybe … So I did this once with my son. He got in trouble at school. He did something bad on the bus. So in my mind, I’m like, I’m going to ground him for a week from his video game. But he comes home, and I have a talk with him, and I’m like, “All right, so what do you think is an appropriate punishment?” And he goes-

Susan Jones:                      Not riding the bus?

Carole:                                  No. He said, “Two weeks grounded from my video game,” and I was like, “I’m going to look like so awesome when I tell him what the punishment is.” So I got to say like, “Well, how about a week?” And then he’s so happy with me. He’s happy. Whereas if I would have just said a week, he would have been pissed at me.

Susan Jones:                      Right. #parentingisnotfun

Carole:                                  So maybe that’s what they did with him. He was like, “So what do you think is an appropriate …?” “Whole season?” “How about 80 games?”

Susan Jones:                      We were just like, how did they come up with 80 games? But the Mariners game was sad. That’s sad news.

Carole:                                  Yeah. I went last week, and same thing.

Susan Jones:                      But I, as a comedian, make friends with the entire three rows in front of me, and three rows in back of me, and it usually ends up being a stage by the time I’m done with it.

Carole:                                  So you make your own fun, basically, at the game.

Susan Jones:                      To the point where I come home and there’s messages on my social media, “Hey, I’m the guy that sat behind you in the row, and we figured out who you were,” so that’s always fun.

Carole:                                  Have you ever been to one of the hockey games up in Everett?

Susan Jones:                      No.

Carole:                                  Oh, my gosh. I went to one of those, and the people screaming behind me … I can’t say on my show what the lady said. I don’t even want to say in euphemisms, because it was just that bad what she said when she was getting mad, yelling at the players, something like that. I was like, “Oh, well, very colorful language up here in Everett!”

Susan Jones:                      The funny thing about an Everett hockey game is you can pretty much see the same thing out on the streets of Everett. So why pay for the ticket? I would think that it would be redundant.

Carole:                                  Well, somebody took me, so …

Susan Jones:                      Oh, so yeah. If you didn’t pay for the ticket, that kind of makes sense. Everett’s kind of one of those towns that we can all make fun of. Usually it’s the town next to a town, but if it’s anywhere near Everett, that’s the town that you can make fun of, is Everett.

Carole:                                  Well, I want to know how’d you get into comedy?

Susan Jones:                      Stand-up is a journey for anyone, just like going to college. Like Dane Cook’s quote was, “It takes eight years to be a doctor.” He’d rather not … It takes that long to find your voice in comedy. It really does. Unless you have … It takes 10,000 hours to be a master of anything. But I was in radio. I wanted to do a degree in broadcasting. Well, a tech degree. But started in radio, and there’s no immediate response.

Susan Jones:                      You don’t if people think you’re funny or not funny. Then it always ends up where they want you to host an event. So I started when I was 16, still in high school. Then it just led into doing public DJ appearances, which leads into someone inevitably going, “Here, warm up the crowd, and be a master of ceremonies.” It was just a normal transition for me.

Susan Jones:                      I remember my first up at mic, they’re like, “Oh, it’s going to be so scary.” And was a competition, and I won it, and I was like, “This isn’t scary! This feeds my ego!” And now they’re calling it the year of the female, and you’re like, “Well, really?” And I’m like, “Well, okay.”

Susan Jones:                      We were working on a joke last night about if this was the Wild Kingdom, the women lionesses would be sitting around with their tails wagging, going, “Look at where we’re at, we’re top of the kingdom right now.” With the male lions walking by, with their tails between their legs. I live just outside of Hollywood in California, too. So I experience a lot of the aftermath of the #MeToo.

Susan Jones:                      There’s a female comedy tour that they’re putting together, #MeToo, and they’ve asked me to be a part of it, and I’m like, “Yeah, okay.” So it’s definitely a time that women comics are getting more stage time, which is great. Well, you know, if you’re starting out, stage time is the only way you know if a joke is going to work. Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you know that joke’s going to work.

Susan Jones:                      You don’t have to go work it out. I have a 25 year old roommate, and she walked in the kitchen the other day, and she goes, “Oh, I just got up, and I have to work today. I’m going to go take a nap.” I was like, she’s 25 and she hasn’t done anything yet today, but she needs a nap.

Susan Jones:                      That’s a generation thing. Do you ever remember taking a nap in your 20s?

Carole:                                  Oh, hell no. It was like, that’s what old people did, like my dad always wanted to take a nap, but I’m like, “You’re such an old fart.” That’s what old people do, take naps.

Susan Jones:                      But I’m touring with another comic. We do a Too Fat, Too Furious tour. We’ve done a lot of footage and videos about how to successfully do keto on the road. When you go into Denny’s, what you can order and what you can’t. Where you should … the safe places. We call them safe keto zones. Because there’s some restaurants where you’ll think you can do chicken strips and ranch dressing, and maybe get away with a day. But the wrong coating on the wrong product will throw you right out of ketosis, and then you’re three days trying to get back in on the road, which is almost impossible.

Susan Jones:                      The other tough thing is, every show contractually, you show up and you get a really nice hotel. Now. I mean, I’ve been in some pretty bad hotels. You get that free continental breakfast, so we’ve been trying to show people. It’s all carbs. It’s the bread section, and then there’s the breaded bread section, and there’s the donut bread section, and there’s the muffin bread. Then there’s a cereal section next to the breads and the muffins, and you’re just like, “Whoa.”

Susan Jones:                      Are those products, the eggs and the sausage products, do they have fillers in them, and that’s really … Sometimes we’ll ask the little ladies that have to put the … and they have no idea, which scares me even more. Because they don’t know what’s in there. You don’t know what’s in the eggs? Shouldn’t there just be eggs in the eggs? Is there eggs in …

Susan Jones:                      So we do a lot of stuff about how to travel with keto.

Carole:                                  We need to link those in the show notes.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, we don’t have them out yet. It’ll be a whole little webisode.

Carole:                                  Oh, okay. Stay tuned.

Susan Jones:                      We’ll do the webisode place, where they download 15 shows at once. It’s a different … This is a binge generation.

Carole:                                  She does acrobats. Look at that. She climbs right up on there.

Susan Jones:                      You need attention? Look at you. There’s a cat on top of a hat, in the Cat in the Hat.

Carole:                                  Cat, yeah.

Susan Jones:                      It had its case.

Carole:                                  This is her brother.

Susan Jones:                      Hi, bro.

Carole:                                  He’s also 15, but you wouldn’t know by looking at him.

Susan Jones:                      So then comedy starts as … You’re a open mic person. In my generation, you were an open mic person, or an aspiring comic for quite a period of time. Now, you can change your status on Facebook and you’re a comedian.

Carole:                                  I want to ask this of a professional. What’s the different between a comic and a comedian?

Susan Jones:                      Well-

Carole:                                  Is there a difference?

Susan Jones:                      Sure. And there’s a comic’s comic, which is even different than a comic and a comedian. Then there’s a difference between a set and an act. And there’s a difference between a joke and an act and a set. It’s just all lingo. It’s all doctor lingo. The same but-

Carole:                                  I know, I’m learning.

Susan Jones:                      We start out with a joke, and then we figure out how to make that joke into a bit. Then a feature set is usually six five-minute bits. Those are called bricks. That’s why there’s a brick wall behind the comedy set. So when I shut my eyes, I can see keto diet, breasts, kids, husband … there’s just one word. Like a speaker would just put one word for the topics, and then the smaller … So I see all the bricks. Those are five-minute chunks.

Susan Jones:                      Eventually, you take six of them, and you figure out how to make them all flow together into a set. If they have a theme, that’s kind of an act. And act can pretty much be described in three words. Like if an agent called you and said, “Hey. I need three comics for this show. Describe yourself in three words.”

Susan Jones:                      You have to know, “I’m a confident, flirty, mom.” And my act, there’s nothing that doesn’t reflect confidence, flirty, mom. Or cupcake personality. Or like I don’t do anything political. I don’t do anything … There’s a few things you can’t do without separating the crowd. You certainly can talk about them if you want, but you’re going to separate the audience.

Susan Jones:                      If you talk about politics, you’re going to separate 50-50. Then you have to figure out how to write a joke to bring them back together. If you talk about homelessness, you’re certainly going to get … especially right now with all the news, you’re going to get two sets of ideas. So I try to not … I try to talk about my weight up and my weight down.

Susan Jones:                      Being 600 pounds people treated me … but I was a 600 pound touring comedian. When people think of 600 pounds, they think of 600-Lb. Life, where people they’re immobile, and can’t get up, and can’t move. Then there were so many men and so many women along the way that followed me because I was big. And I’m … you get a lot of, “Oh, you’re a sell-out,” once you’re losing weight.

Susan Jones:                      But it really makes them think about their journey, and what they need to start, or what they do. I lost a comedian in my house. At that moment, I’d already had the surgery, but I knew for sure that he chose death, and I chose life. So I know every day with keto, in the beginning it was awesome, 20 pounds, 25 … but I know if I follow the keto plan, I’m still losing weight, and I still feel really good, and I can walk without meds.

Susan Jones:                      The amount of meds … I can’t even explain. I used to have a container of meds this big, and I have six I can take now. It definitely … when you say cures diabetes, if you have Type II diabetes that was onset from sugar, it certainly will shock your doctor. The numbers that you come in with, with keto. They’ll just look at you like … I’ve had to explain.

Susan Jones:                      I have a bad ass doctor. He’s cool, but I’ve had to explain. He’s like, “What do you mean, you eat 75% fat? How is that even … What do you mean you eat butter and bacon, and you’re heart rate is … and you’re not, you don’t have cholesterol?” So you have to sit down and explain to them, because most doctors don’t have the nutritional … They have six or eight hours that they’re required to do for a-

Carole:                                  Most … Well, a lot of them, it’s optional.

Susan Jones:                      Optional. Your nutrition is optional to doctors. That should be mind-blowing when they prescribe you the meds that they make money off of. That should be just mind-blowing.

Carole:                                  Well, did you know this as well? Is that doctors are incentivized to keep you on medications? They get paid more per visit if they keep you on medications than if they take you off medications, they get paid less to see you.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, and that’s absolutely … It’s a big business. It certainly is. As well as keto diet … People are like, “Oh, it’s the next fad diet.” I would definitely say it isn’t a diet. It’s a way of life. Sugar is more of an addictive drug than heroin. I can tell you there’s been really stressful moments in my life, where I thought all I need is sugar, and I’ll feel a lot better.

Susan Jones:                      It does become a drug. When we lost the comic, there wasn’t the choice at that time to overfeed. I remember that was the only time that I’ve ever ordered Chinese food, and my husband brought it, and he’s like, “Are you sure?” And I’m like, “Yeah.” And I’m just eating, and I threw up because I had such a little belly. And I just remember thinking, “Four ounces of feelings isn’t enough.”

Susan Jones:                      But it certainly is a choice and a lifestyle. It’s cliché to say it’s not a diet. But if you go through the first few days, and you’re on keto and in ketosis, and then you go out, you’ll know the first or second time, that that’s not a way of life. Once you start burning the fat energy versus the sugar energy … The only time I have problems is sometimes … My mouth’s dry. Sometimes we have nights where we have to do three shows.

Susan Jones:                      I’m a headliner, so that means I start at 5:00 or 8:00. And there’s a show at 8:00, a show at 10:00, and a show at 12:00. And that midnight show, to find the fat energy, is almost impossible. So I’ve found that my energy definitely caps out at about 10:00 at night. And I do like a diet Coke will get me through, where before I mean, I certainly would have had to carbed up all night.

Susan Jones:                      So the energy is totally different. I mean, your body burning sugar versus burning fat is just a totally different feeling, especially for someone that was not using exercise as a form to get energy through the day, too. I was just using carbs. Now, I can tell if I don’t have enough fat, or if I haven’t drank enough water. You get to the point where you can just touch your skin and know you don’t have enough water in it.

Susan Jones:                      I wasn’t … I went off ketosis a little bit in L.A. We did a lot of stuff that I just wasn’t planning. I came home and dropped the 15 pounds in the last eight days again. Once you get back on track, it certainly rewards you instantly. It’s not a long-term … It’s easier to just get right back on track, though. I wouldn’t wait weeks or days or months. The quicker … I explain it to people like, the farther you get away, the harder it is to get back on track.

Susan Jones:                      If you cheat a little bit, just go back into it. And I’ve … My husband is in the tech industry, and he’s done well in life, so we’ve been able to afford to try like … I have a shake that I carry with me, that’s a keto shake, a strawberry keto shake. So I’ll try to get a milk and a shake, and it’s a full meal. There’s shakes in a can that I can take with me.

Susan Jones:                      A lot of times, you’re limited to just doing a burger without a bun, but if you ask people, they’ll do special protein style is becoming a key word, key phrase. You can do In-N-Out protein style. That sauce is not keto, though. So do-

Carole:                                  And they don’t have mayonnaise there.

Susan Jones:                      No. But I carry a whole condiment packs in my car, which really, really help. And I carry sweetener, the liquid sweeteners. So I have a whole keto kit that I carry. I’ll send a picture of it to you. I don’t have it with me. But I definitely take stevia. Starbucks is really, really good about … When I’m on the road, sometimes there’s only one Starbucks in a town, which sounds crazy. Because we have … there’s four of them at the corner, and there’s one in the grocery, and then after you come out of the bathroom, there’s one in the bathroom, too.

Susan Jones:                      They’ll give you stevia. Starbucks is super cool about if you can’t make it to the next town … A lot of coffee shops don’t have stevia. I’m not a big other sweetener. I tried to grow my own stevia. Have you ever tried that?

Carole:                                  Oh, it’s so bitter and … Oh, no. What are you doing? Why would that go out? It’s not even …

Susan Jones:                      It’s hard to grow.

Carole:                                  Little assholes.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, we use three different iPads. That’s cool. What is that?

Carole:                                  This is the [Mibo 00:22:54] thing. Why is it …

Susan Jones:                      No, the pad.

Carole:                                  Oh. It’s just an iPad. Whatever version that is. Sorry. So we’re going to do a … It’s still counting. All right, so I guess the iPad crashed. We’re still going. Okay. All right, well, that’s good.

Susan Jones:                      Technological difficulties.

Carole:                                  Yeah, well, it’s not a normal day if it’s not.

Susan Jones:                      But I think the key word in keto is prep. I mean, I’m a big … So what’s happened to, is moving to L.A., and having all the products that I’m working on, my husband is not keto prep friendly. So I prep all the food, and it’s kind of impressive. We’ve figured out how to do containers that freeze. So if you open up the freezer, it just looks like prepped meals. He knows he can microwave those, and just add the ranch dip that we make, and I’ll cut up the cucumbers for him.

Susan Jones:                      And then I do egg cups in the … so he’ll have 12 or 14 egg cups done up with cheese and sausage. But it’s definitely a two-day prep. Sometimes I prep for 20 days, if I leave on the road. So I’m constantly, even if I’m home … like tomorrow I’m in Salem. So that’s travel all day, and then an overnight, and then I-

Carole:                                  You do comedy in Salem?

Susan Jones:                      Sure. Name a town, and I’ll tell you where the comedy happens.

Carole:                                  It’s funny. Well, I grew up in Oregon. I was born in Eugene. So I used to go to the Black Angus in Salem, and hang out.

Susan Jones:                      Oh, yeah, we do comedy in Eugene, tons.

Carole:                                  Okay, yeah.

Susan Jones:                      And Alex is … there’s some great comics. There was an all comedy radio station in Eugene, that was about ready to go all … What’s that called? Syndicate. It was ready to syndicate, but some health issues, and Chris’s mom passed away. But there’s some great comics that live in Eugene. Doug Stanhope’s right hand man lives in Eugene. It’s a little comedy hub down there.

Carole:                                  Nice. I’ll have to go down and watch with them.

Susan Jones:                      In Salem, we do … Do we have Oregon watchers?

Carole:                                  Oh, yeah. This is all Oregon.

Susan Jones:                      So Saturday night, we’re at the theater, the Northern Lights Theater, which is at the back, west side of town, and they’ve taken one of the movie theaters, and they’ve made it into a adult drinking theater. They took out every other seat and there’s a table, so there’s actually a stage, and we do two shows at that. But, I was in Salem last week, at a little bar doing a benefit show, so there’s two comedy shows going on in Salem.

Carole:                                  Ooh, big time. Nice. All right.

Susan Jones:                      But we travel a lot.

Carole:                                  Can I ask you then how … because you mentioned … I’m curious how keto has affected your career. You mentioned a little bit about people saying like, now you’re a sell out, because you had your [crosstalk 00:25:43] before. But I’m wondering, had you noticed like your energy and your creativity and your mental clarity … What have you noticed with that?

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, I mean, I was a stand-up that couldn’t stand up any more, which is really hard to tell a fat joke, when you can’t stand up. I don’t know how to explain that to people, other than when you first start, and you do a self-deprecating joke, you’ll get these, “Oh … oh …” and you’re like, “I know I’m fat. I’m not calling you fat. I’m joking about me. Ooh, you’re … wait. Oh, you’re worried about me.” Or if you’re out of breath, trying to tell a fat joke …

Susan Jones:                      Or a lot of times there were stages, where I’d walk in and go, “Oh, my God. I can’t get on that stage.” One time, we were in Montana, and there was sand bags and a plastic chair, and they wanted us to get on a scaffolding over the crowd, and I as like … They’re like, “Yeah, you’ve got to go up there,” and I was like, “Okay.” They announced me, and I just walked out right in front of it, and I moved the light with a broom handle, and I stood right in with the crowd.

Susan Jones:                      They just looked at me, and I’m like, “Mmm.” But I’ve always been confident, so a confident big girl is a lot different than someone that weighs 600 pounds but doesn’t have confidence, because they’re too afraid to ask, or too afraid to accommodate. I wasn’t afraid to say, “Hey, you need to get me a chair without arms, or I need a room with a different shower.”

Susan Jones:                      There were some showers on the road … some of the showers at the L Hotels, they’re those units, that tall unit, and you can’t open the door. So I definitely see the difference. Because I’m 250, about 253 today. So I’m working on the third hundred pounds, which is insane, if you think about it.

Carole:                                  Congratulations, by the way.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, it’s crazy.

Carole:                                  Impressive.

Susan Jones:                      The third hundred. I look like a Shar-pei puppy naked. That’s a good joke. But I can stand up. So people see the energy again. If you want to get an applause break on a joke, you have to be able to stand up and look them in the face, and be like, “Come on, that’s the joke.” If you’re just sitting there, they’re like … the energy definitely isn’t as much if you’re sitting down. You can pull off sitting on a chair, but if you really want to make a statement or a point, at the end, or drop a punch line, I mean, you want to be … If you’re asking them to stand up for you at the end of the show, you still have to be standing up by the end of the show.

Susan Jones:                      So it definitely got harder, and it got harder to get in, but it got to the point where as a headliner, you have an opener with you, and I had some incredible people that carried my baggage, and dropped me off at doors. Other headliners you work with, like I remember Susan Rice drove me around once, all the way to the entrance of a convention, so that I could get as close as I could, because she knew I couldn’t walk that far.

Susan Jones:                      Then I got gout really bad. If you don’t know what gout is, I mean, they call it the king’s disease, but it’s the worst form of arthritis there is. I don’t have that anymore with keto. Although in the beginning I did. They had to adjust a medication, but it does say that people that have had gastric bypass surgery should not do keto. I would definitely challenge that. The more research I did, I knew that it was the right thing for everything that we wanted to accomplish, like being able to have our joints feel comfortable without …

Susan Jones:                      I was to the point where I took three or four Vicodin a day. You’re not really that clear … It’s really hard to remember jokes. Or they’d be like, “Well, smoke weed.” And you’re like, “Yeah, I have to remember an hour of material.” It’s not really conducive to memory. My game is memory and words. So the answers that they were coming up with weren’t really working for me.

Susan Jones:                      But keto has certainly … I brought it to Larry, and I said, “You know, Paleo is popular, and Atkins is causing so much heart disease.” And we knew that protein was the answer, but we didn’t know we had too much protein. We didn’t know the effects of too much protein. Because Atkins was so popular when I was coming up and getting bigger. But it certainly caused … any time I did the Atkins diet, I certainly had high blood pressure related results, and I certainly had cholesterol results.

Susan Jones:                      So I knew that I had to find something else. But I don’t have any bad results on my tests at all with keto. Even … the weird thing about keto is when you realize that you need more salt. It’s the weirdest thing when you’ve been raised and told that salt is bad, and salt is not good for you, but that you have to add a certain amount, and figure out what the amount is for you. And you’ll know from water retention.

Susan Jones:                      I can tell from my wedding ring. Do you have something that you know for sure you need salt?

Carole:                                  If I’m just really, really thirsty, I think usually.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah.

Carole:                                  But I also measure out at least a teaspoon a day that I add to water or so.

Susan Jones:                      Or if you start craving potato chips, that’s the … and my keto cure for potato chips is the Parmesan crisps.

Carole:                                  Oh, yeah, the Costco Whisps?

Susan Jones:                      No, now they’re selling them everywhere. Have you seen them?

Carole:                                  Trader Joe’s has one that are good. We’ve done taste tests with them.

Susan Jones:                      Safeway.

Carole:                                  The Moon Cheese is not as good.

Susan Jones:                      No.

Carole:                                  That’s a brand, sorry. But they’re not … We’ve done taste tests with them, and-

Susan Jones:                      Oh, and they have a filler.

Carole:                                  Oh, do they now?

Susan Jones:                      The Moon Cheese I got …

Carole:                                  Maybe they’ve been sold to another company, and they-

Susan Jones:                      Let’s see what kinds they are. They just have ParmCrisps.

Carole:                                  Okay. Yeah, I’ve seen those. Okay.

Susan Jones:                      The little ParmCrisps. You guys can’t see my phone. And I do avocado on my … These are portable.

Carole:                                  What’s your Instagram?

Susan Jones:                      It’s CupcakeComic. But I also have, Facebook, I have Keto Comic page, that’s getting ready to … you’ll be able to watch the shows on that.

Carole:                                  Oh, cool.

Susan Jones:                      So salt was a big thing, getting to know that we needed to add more salt. Because we’re told in cooking that every time you add salt … but I can tell when my ring gets … I move it too much … I’ve convinced my husband that it’s bad luck to cut a wedding ring when you lose weight, and you’re just supposed to move it to the bigger finger, and get it replaced with a bigger ring.

Carole:                                  Sounds logical to me.

Susan Jones:                      If you guys have any … that’s relationship math comics have done. But he does great. He’s walking better, and he’s 10 years younger than me, so he really wasn’t concerned about the health stuff yet. So I’m 10 years into the more … I’m in my 50s, so I’m starting to feel the “uhs.” People keep asking me the one thing … people say weird things when you’ve lost this much weight.

Susan Jones:                      “Oh, my God, your face is so pretty now.” You’re like, “Whoa.” That’s probably not the … same face. It’s the same. But they’ll say, the big thing they say is, “I bet you feel so much better.” Like, “You must feel so much better.” Well, I’m not carrying around another 250 pound person.

Susan Jones:                      It’s not that you feel better, it’s that your muscles are strong enough to carry a 600 pound person. So it definitely, especially in California in the heat, my body just feels like it can get up and move. And my watch tells me to.

Carole:                                  Yeah. So basically don’t mess with her, because she’s strong enough that she could flip a 250 person.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, at least. With these big muscles. And I think that I was really worried about the extra skin, but I’ve just dealt with it.

Carole:                                  Well, I would think it’s easier to deal with that than the extra 250 pounds, right?

Susan Jones:                      Yeah. It just sounds ridiculous, but you think about all the hanging extra skin. But nowadays, it’s so easy to have those, and that’s the next part of the journey.

Carole:                                  That’s like another trip to Mexico, right?

Susan Jones:                      So the Mexico experience … people ask me a lot, like, “You went to Mexico and had an organ removed.” And it’s like, pretty much. I went to Tijuana and had 78% of my stomach cut out. But the doctor that I had … Lisa Lampanelli had it done, too, and she has a foundation for women that can’t afford to have it done. But it’s only $4,000 cash. They meet you at the airport, and they take you to the hospital facility, which is a private facility.

Susan Jones:                      But the doctor that did my surgery has done 5,000 of them. And he was super cool.

Carole:                                  Wow. He’s doing two at the same time? How …

Susan Jones:                      Well, he does them in Las Vegas, too. You can get American surgeons that do surgery in Mexico, because it’s cheaper for them. But there were some moments that were scary. Like the drip, the IV drip going into the … It had the expiration date scratched out, and I remember laying there going, “Uh oh.” It just said March 17th, clear as day, and the year was scratched out. I thought, “Well, it’s just fluid, right?”

Susan Jones:                      You know, there was a few moments where like … and then they didn’t give me any drugs in Mexico. And I thought the one place that I should get extra drugs. And he goes, “Well, I can give you Tylenol 3,” and I was like, “What? I brought better drugs into Mexico than what you’re offering. I can go across the street and get better pain pills.”

Susan Jones:                      But the sad thing was, there were women getting the surgery done, and one girl was 18, and she weighed 156 pounds. And I was like, “Girl … Girl, you don’t need that. You need some love. You don’t need this.” But she was like, “I want to be as skinny as mom,” and her mom was there, and she weighed about 110, and I was like …

Susan Jones:                      But I never had the fat shaming. I was a yell leader in high school, and I never had those years of … and I didn’t really know that I got fat. I tell my sisters now, I’m like, “Why didn’t you guys tell me I was like …” I look back at the pictures, and I’m like, “Oh, my God. Why didn’t you tell me?” But my personality carried the weight for me, so it was never … It didn’t really dawn on me until the health problems started, that it was time to take it off.

Carole:                                  So I interviewed … you probably don’t know this guy, Tyler Cartwright has been doing keto. He’s lost 295 pounds, and started out about 505. One of the things in the interview I did with him that really stood out to me, was he said that when he was at his heaviest, the thing that he wanted people to know was people are afraid to touch people when they’re bigger.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, or what’s funny is you’ll be walking down the sidewalk, and there’ll be plenty of space, and they’ll give you all this extra room. And L.A.’s worse. I’m still, in my 340s, I’m still up there. So in L.A., people will walk by me and they’ll go, “Jesus!” And I’ll go, “You should have seen me two years ago. What?” But I’m not afraid of calling someone out, and that’s part of being a comic.

Susan Jones:                      People think that that’s an improv thing when we get heckled. It’s not. It’s a practiced thing. Like I practice for a lady heckling me. I practice for a man heckling me. I practice for a drunk lady with blond hair heckling me. I practice for a drunk guy in a plaid shirt heckling me. I practice if a waitress drops the tray, what are you going to say?

Carole:                                  Oh, I …

Susan Jones:                      If your mic goes out, what are you going to say?

Carole:                                  No, I don’t. I’ve been doing this two months. I’ve got a lot to learn. I’m taking notes on everything you say. It’s so great.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah. So in the car driving, we practice in driving … we have five hours to Salem, so we practice. When I get young comics in the car, we do a lot of drill. “What are you going to say? What are you going to say? What are you going to say?” And if you know, those are like Ninja stars. Those are in your pockets. And if you ever once decided what you’re going to say, it’ll always be there.

Susan Jones:                      And then someone will drop a tray, and you’ll go, “Oh, there’s a job application right now on Craigslist.” It’ll just like, “Oh, I know what to say.” When the mic goes out, it’s like, “Did Radio Shack sponsor our show?” You’ll know what to say in those moments. But if you don’t have anything to say in those moments, it’s 20 seconds or eight seconds of dead air on stage is like forever. Like I’ve had a man walk up and expose himself, and the only thing I thought to say was, “If that was mine, I wouldn’t show it off. I wouldn’t. Put that away. You should put that …”

Carole:                                  Did you practice for that?

Susan Jones:                      No. But eventually, it gets … and that … I’m kind of known for that, taking people out. They call me the Mama up here. Right now, I’m just focusing on me and the keto shows, and another thing. There’ll be another announcement next week. I can’t tell you.

Carole:                                  Okay. Stay tuned. We got some exciting stuff.

Susan Jones:                      But I took out … So Andrew Rivers would … Bob Rivers’ kid from the radio, he does stand-up. Have you met Andrew yet?

Carole:                                  No.

Susan Jones:                      He’s a headliner now. And Adam that owns the Tacoma and Spokane comedy clubs, we’ve been on the road for a long time. Then Travis Nelson, the big tall guy?

Carole:                                  He actually was kind of the person who encouraged me to go out this year to Comedy Underground. I was like … I watched him perform several times, and chatted with him after the shows. I’m like, “I’ve always wanted to do stand-up. I did it in college for a talent show.” And he’s like, “You should go do it.” I’m like, “All right.” So Travis Nelson was my … I don’t know what you call it. Muse. Not really muse. But so he suggested where I should go the first time.

Susan Jones:                      That’s a tall drink of water.

Carole:                                  Yeah.

Susan Jones:                      So when Travis and I first started, I told him, “I’ll give you four months, and I’ll teach you everything I know,” and then after that four months, I mean, he’s been a full time working comedian. But when we first went out on the road, he … like I would get out of the car, like way up, almost to Canada in Montana, and they’d look at me like, “Oh, God.” And then Travis would get out of the car, and they’d be like, “What is this?” We’d be like, “Circus. Circus is in town.”

Susan Jones:                      People would go up to Travis. He’s like really tall.

Carole:                                  6’7″?, 6’7″, I think, yeah.

Susan Jones:                      I think it’s 6’9″. But people go up to him, and the first thing they … It’s almost like the weight loss. They go, “Oh, you must play basketball.” And he was like … and I’d go like, “How tall are you?” And I go, “It’s weird no one asks me how fat … ‘How much do you weigh?'” But we certainly had a lot of fun out on the road as two obviously different people. We look like a big huge number 10, like a weird 10, everywhere we went.

Susan Jones:                      Then the last few years, I’ve been taking … Tom Carvey went out with me for a year, and then Dex came on board. So taking Dana’s kids out has been super fun. They’re great. It’s weird that we call them kids, but one of them’s 22, and one of them’s 25. Or they’re 25 and 26 now, because it’s been two years.

Susan Jones:                      So that’s been a great experience, because Dana’s so popular, he can’t take them out in public. I mean, he can’t … He can’t go anywhere. It’s Dana Carvey. It’s Garth. But so having his kids, it brings an extra level of history and … I’m a real comedy historian. I studied it. I know it. I can quote the Comedy Bible. Don’t do comedy in Florida, Alex Elkin. That’s a joke.

Carole:                                  Inside joke? Must be an inside joke.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, when you first get headlining, they’ll just say, “Yeah, I don’t do gigs in Florida.” And he’s down in Florida right now, and two of the gigs canceled. And we’re all like, “Don’t do gigs in Florida. We told you.” But it is, because you go from not knowing … doing open mics and not knowing how to structure a joke.

Susan Jones:                      So the biggest mistake comics make is they start doing all the open mics. A lot of them will end up … This sounds crazy … but they’ll just be comics that you’re telling jokes to, and then the dirtier you get, the comics, they’ll laugh. And you’re like, “Oh, I need to be dirty.” And then you’ll go to get a job and they’re like, “Oh, we don’t hire dirty comics,” and you’re like, “Wait a minute. I thought that was funny.”

Susan Jones:                      So the best thing that I did was met a lot of headliners, and then just got on their shows. Like Megan Gross was on our show last Wednesday over at the Clearwater Casino. And they’ll let me give you five minutes, and it’s a nervous point where people are like, “Oh, I don’t want to …” It’s not conceit or ego, but my job is that they don’t remember you after …

Susan Jones:                      You can do whatever … it doesn’t matter what you do. My job is to make sure-

Carole:                                  They remember you.

Susan Jones:                      … my face is on the post. My job is to make sure … So I always tell people when they’re nervous, “Don’t worry about your time in the beginning. I’ll haul you off if you get to the point where … and don’t worry about being funny. Your job is to just figure out how not to hold the mic in front of your face, so that they can see it. Your face is 10 to 20% of the joke, so make sure that you set your levels here, and if your first joke doesn’t work, which should be your second to the best joke, because you close on your best joke. If your first joke doesn’t work, it’s either the light or the mic.

Susan Jones:                      They can’t hear you or they can’t see you. Because you know that joke works. So you have to make sure that you feel the heat on your face, and step into the light. So there were so many times with Travis, where I’d be like, “The light,” because he was so tall.

Carole:                                  Oh, because he was so tall, yeah.

Susan Jones:                      And he’d be like, “Why?” You could see on his face, the jokes weren’t working. So he’s learned to go in early and make sure you adjust the light. For a lot of us that are not as tall as most men, which is what comedy is like 95%, you want to make sure that you just step back another foot, so that your face is in the light. The first reaction to lights is to get out of them. Then you learn that there’s this spot where if you just look just right, the lights will fix your eyes, and you can see the crowd. It’s a weird magic trick, like, “Oh, they’re there.”

Susan Jones:                      So when you get used to setting … If you look just beyond the horizon of lights, your eyes will just all of a sudden, show you the whole crowd. The best thing, if the lights are too bright, and you can’t see the crowd, is I will look at crowd before I’m onstage, and I will memorize who’s in the front row, so if somebody says something to me, I’ll be like, “Oh, that’s the guy in the checkered shirt,” and I’ll have something to say about … So they still think I can see them, but I can’t see them. There’s sometimes where you’re up there, like, “Oh, my God, I can’t see anybody.” And if you tell a joke, and it doesn’t work, you’re like, “Is there anybody here?”

Susan Jones:                      It’s really good to sit out. If you do a show in a small town, I always go sit with the crowd before I go on stage, because your friends will laugh at you a lot more than your … So all my friends with the audience before. That’s Debbie Wooten’s trick. She’s a comic that also has lost a lot of weight. I think she got up to 300, and she has polio, which is insane to think that there’s someone in 2018 … but her mom was a nurse, and she was exposed to it.

Susan Jones:                      There’s pictures of her with Martin Luther King when she was like five years old, with her braces on. So she’s overcome so much, being a female touring comic with polio. Being a woman comic’s tough. You got to fight for the spots with the boys. But being a woman comic with a disability is even harder, because they, “Oh, we don’t want to accommodate this, we don’t want to have to accommodate that. We don’t want to accommodate this.” So they have to think about travel and accommodations. She’s had to overcome a lot.

Susan Jones:                      Like I couldn’t … If they flew me … for those last eight years of headlining, they’d say, “Hey, can we fly you out?” And I’d go, “Where’s it at?” I’d have to kind of dance around the fact that I can’t fly in a plane, unless you want to fly me first class. So I didn’t. There’s a whole decade where I did New York, and I drove. I could drive 19 hours straight. Then my feet started swelling up, and I’m like, “I have to stop more.” I got to the point where I’d have to plan one or two days to get somewhere, and then that starts costing you the hotels.

Susan Jones:                      But so I can fly now, which … so I can be there. So that’s changed so much. Although people on an airplane really treat you like crap when you’re fat. They see you and they’re like, “Oh, I hope I’m not sitting next to them.” And I’m working on a joke right now about now they’re jealous, because Larry can block the whole lane for me to get my stuff down and get out. Like, “Who’s mad now?” You know what I’m saying? Because everybody does that mad dash to get their bags.

Susan Jones:                      My husband will just stand there like, “We’re all going to wait for my wife.”

Carole:                                  Sweet. I just want to start wrap up, and ask … What tips do you have for somebody starting out on keto?

Susan Jones:                      Well, don’t get too freaked out by the whole keto flu thing. Your body’s definitely going to go through withdrawals. Set yourself up for success for those three days. I mean, there are great coconut flour and almond flour and microwave keto bread are going to be your friend. Don’t say, “I can’t have bread.” Don’t say, “I can’t have cookies.” Don’t say, “I can’t have brownies.” Don’t say you can’t have pancakes. You can have anything that you ate before, you can make keto.

Susan Jones:                      All you do is put in … like if you’re making spaghetti, just put the word keto in front of spaghetti, and you’ll find that recipe. Just don’t freak out that if you want to hot dog, cut your hot dog in half, and make your own relish with a little pickle and stevia, and put the relish in the middle of your hot dog. There’s keto ketchup you can buy. Mustard’s pretty much all keto. Some of the Grey Poupon stuff has filler in it. You got to be careful of that.

Susan Jones:                      But you can make a hot dog, and wrap lettuce around it. But they do have keto hot dog buns now. They’re expensive and they have to travel through … Have you had the buns that come frozen?

Carole:                                  No. I’ve lost my taste for the texture of bread. Like it just is gross to me now.

Susan Jones:                      That’s one thing. If you’re on keto for a long time, and then you eat bread, you’re just like, “Oh …”

Carole:                                  Yeah. No, that whole aisle smells bad. The texture … I’ve made the keto breads … I’m like, “I don’t like this mushy, gummy stuff in my mouth.”

Susan Jones:                      And people are like, “Oh, all of a sudden, everybody’s gluten …” No, it’s not all of a sudden. For years, people have been affected by gluten. I mean, there’s tens of thousands of years where people didn’t eat this processed crap. But learning how to go into a convenience store. Is there anything that’s keto? Yeah, pepperoni and cheese. My go to are deviled eggs. That’s your perfect keto bite. If you use the right mayonnaise, and the right amount … the egg … It’s a perfect snack for me. So I always keep deviled eggs in the refrigerator. It’s a big keto … cream cheese is my best friend.

Susan Jones:                      If you learn the right … there’s some seasonings, and there’s some … What is the xantham gum? Do you use that yet?

Carole:                                  I’ve tried it in a couple of recipes.

Susan Jones:                      I can make gravy out of cream cheese and make it pretty thick, and you can make … The stuff I do with zucchini is insane. You can do zucchini brownies, zucchini bread, zucchini spaghetti, like the spiral-

Carole:                                  Have you seen Maria Emmerich’s apple pie made with zucchini?

Susan Jones:                      Insane. The zucchini brownies, you’ll eat them and be like, “There’s no …” That’s what people say at my house, “There’s no sugar in this?” “No.” “How can there be no sugar in this?” So don’t deprive yourself of anything. Just figure out the … I bake a lot, though. And people are like how do you have the time and the energy to do it? And it’s like, you just take your Sundays and your Mondays. But Amazon has made that easy. I don’t have to go to a store and look at all the other crap.

Susan Jones:                      It comes to my door and then I prep it all. Cheese is like super my friend. My big problem is trying to stay regular. The first three days … I don’t know if they call if the keto backup, or the keto traffic jam. That’s probably the best way for us to describe it.

Carole:                                  That’s another one the salt will help with, if you’re getting enough salt.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, so I have a really hard problem with that, but there’s a Smooth Moves tea. There’s also a keto coffee creamer. If you’re at work trying to do keto, you can go to any nutrition store, and it’s a little round container, and it’s a keto coffee creamer that turns your coffee into a fat bomb without having to take butter and everything or coconut oil or any of the oils to work. Have you had the keto creamer?

Carole:                                  No. Not specifically. There’s … I like another one.

Susan Jones:                      We do the keto and it’s on Amazon. We do the keto creamer, like he has one at work, I have one in the car. So I’ll order an Americano at Starbucks and just put the keto creamer in, so I have a fat bomb with me. So the biggest problem that you’re going to have is getting enough fat in, which sounds crazy, but you’ll end up every day at the end of the day with extra fat.

Susan Jones:                      The trick is to add the fat without adding the calories. So I find my … I’ll make specific little night-time fat bombs for that, that I know I’m going to be like 30 fat short. But keep track of my … Do you track your keto?

Carole:                                  Not anymore. Well, actually I’ve been doing a high protein experiment the last month, so I’ve been tracking for that, but today is actually my three year keto anniversary. Today, May 18th, 2018.

Susan Jones:                      Today is your birthday.

Carole:                                  Yeah. But the last month I’ve been doing a high protein tracking.

Susan Jones:                      Wait a minute. Wasn’t that when the mountain blew up, too?

Carole:                                  Yes. 1980. Yeah, May 18th.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah. I was in the seventh grade. Were you born?

Carole:                                  Yeah. I was almost 10. I was 9 and a half.

Susan Jones:                      So keto coffee creamer will save your life at work, because it’s a full meal replacement, too. So you can make any just regular coffee into a meal, and it’s a fat bomb. People have no idea how many different kinds of fat bombs you can make. There’s 900 fat bomb books. Some of them are really extensive, like you can make your own cookie dough fat bombs, but you got to make the cookie, and then crumble the cookie to make the … I mean, it takes days, you could spend.

Susan Jones:                      But anything you could make regularly, you can make a keto version of it.

Carole:                                  All right, I have one more question for you.

Susan Jones:                      Yea.

Carole:                                  It’s your last day on the planet. The meteor’s coming at us. We’re all going to die. What’s your final meal?

Susan Jones:                      Vicodin.

Carole:                                  You don’t want to be in pain when the meteor hits.

Susan Jones:                      I’m a big eggs girl. So we … I mean, we’re big … probably a big vegetarian omelet with lots of cheese on top, and a side of keto gravy. You can get them to make your keto gravy in the back. They’ll do it without flour for you.

Carole:                                  Oh, yeah?

Susan Jones:                      Sometimes I take my own almond flour into restaurants, and I’ll flirt with the chefs, and ask them to make me some keto gravy?

Carole:                                  Nice. Sweet.

Susan Jones:                      So that’s another thing. Just don’t be afraid to ask people, like, “Don’t put any butter …” Like if you go to Red Lobster and order the green beans, and have two bites, you’ll know that you’re eating sugar. You’re like, “Who would put sugar on green beans?” And they’re like, “Oh, yeah. We make them with brown sugar.” You’re like, “What?” You’ll know instantly that you’re eating sugar. That’s how weird it gets, to the point where you’re like, “I am eating sugar on my vegetables.” That should be a sin, to serve vegetables and not tell people they have doused them in brown sugar. But you’ll know right away that you’re … you’ll feel it.

Susan Jones:                      My eyes will tell me. Do you feel sugar if you accidentally ate it?

Carole:                                  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can taste it right away, and then if I’ve purposefully had something where it’s like, “I’m just going to have a little bit of that,” I feel like garbage the rest of the day. So one of the reasons I started keto … Well, no. It wasn’t why I started it, but one of the things that went away from me was a chronic pain syndrome, after a car accident, in my legs.

Carole:                                  So if I have too many carbs, that will flare that up. I’ll start to get really tight painful legs. So I … zero appeal, because I know how terrible I feel immediately of it.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah, and I have a new shake that the workout guys use. It’s an orange shake that puts you right back into ketosis immediately, which is insane. I don’t think you stay in ketosis, but I think you’re there for a little bit, enough to get back on track. So I think if you cheat, the quicker you get back into the flow it’s better. But yeah, I feel like crap if I eat sugar. I don’t even want sugar. If I see sugar … We were writing a joke the other night about why they call the layers of cake tiers. There’s a reason.

Carole:                                  30 minutes at the pre-cruise dinner.

Susan Jones:                      That’s a long time.

Carole:                                  Oh, no. I got-

Susan Jones:                      That’s a Seinfeld and a half episode.

Carole:                                  I got it all. I’m feeling pretty good about it. I’m going to be nervous and excited, and it’s going to be awesome.

Susan Jones:                      Well, the exciting thing about comedy is all the time that you’ve done public speaking counts. All the time that you’ve done any sort of one on one kind of training, where you’ve had to keep a flow going, counts. But are you going to be at a podium, or just on a mic?

Carole:                                  I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s going to look like. It’s going to be a surprise when I get there.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah. So just like keto diet, control your environment.

Carole:                                  Okay. Yeah.

Susan Jones:                      So if you can make sure … I mean, a podium hides notes, so if you have to take notes on stage, you certainly want … You can require in your rider that they have a stool, or they have a podium, or they have notes for you. But 30 minutes … I remember trying to do my first hour, and I just kept going … And when I got to 59 minutes, I was like, “Oh! We’re there!” It’s a lot longer than you think. But if you’re talking about something that you like, that’s an easy … You’re going to actually be talking to keto people, or low-carb people?

Carole:                                  Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Jones:                      Low-carb people and keto people are different. Paleo people and keto people are different. People who get into Paleo versus keto arguments with you, be careful for that. Don’t walk into one of those Atkins conversations, either.

Carole:                                  Well, Susan, I’ve so loved having you here. Oh, my gosh, we’re gonna link everything below. Lots of good stuff, and as you have more stuff coming out, we’ll put it in the notes there, as well. So if you guys like this, thumbs up, and hit that subscribe button. They just changed something on YouTube now, so subscribe to like, or like something, but give us a lot of love there.

Susan Jones:                      Yeah. Keto on!

Carole:                                  Yeah. Thanks for watching. We’ll see you next time.


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