Simon Kaufman:

Nope.

Carole Freeman:

Are crunchy snack craving killing your keto success? What are keto-friendly options that don’t lead to overeating and stall your weight loss? Well, listen up, because that’s what we’re talking about on the show today.

Simon Kaufman:

Bringing the crunch.

Carole Freeman:

Apparently… My mind went to saying crack. I couldn’t say it three times fast. Sorry about that, folks.

Simon Kaufman:

It’s the keto crunch crew, baby.

Carole Freeman:

Yes. Two Sue crew, and the keto crunch crew. Well, welcome, everyone to Keto Chat LIVE, the podcast with a special host and co-host. I’m Carol Freeman. I am a board-certified keto nutrition specialist, among other things. And my special co-host, the one the only, the fabulous, the standup comedian. What’s you name?

Simon Kaufman:

The man, the myth, the legend.

Carole Freeman:

What’s your name again? Simon Kaufman, everyone.

Simon Kaufman:

That’s me, baby. Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Welcome, welcome.

Simon Kaufman:

Good to be here.

Carole Freeman:

He’s just here to drop the medical disclaimer, everyone.

Simon Kaufman:

That’s right. We do have a medical disclaimer. So everyone, if you’re standing, please sit down for this. Okay. The show is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only. It’s not medical advice, nor intended to diagnose, treat, cure any condition. If you have any medical condition, illness, disease, or taking any medications, or have any concerns related to any medical conditions you have, please contact your medical professional.

Carole Freeman:

Do it, do it, do it.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Right, for our viewers and listeners, here’s a question for you-

Simon Kaufman:

Whatever you do, don’t take the brown acid.

Carole Freeman:

Oh?

Simon Kaufman:

You don’t know that?

Carole Freeman:

There’s different colors of acid? No, I’ve never taken that stuff.

Simon Kaufman:

No, it’s a famous story from Woodstock.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, okay. [crosstalk 00:02:18]-

Simon Kaufman:

That there was a bunch of bad acid, that was brown that was going around. And the dude, who’s the name? The famous guy who was the announcer at Woodstock. Crazy hippie dude from Humboldt. When he gets up there, he’s like over the mic, “Do not take the brown acid.” He kept making announcements all weekend. So, that’s part of the medical disclaimer, people. Whatever you do, do not take the brown acid.

Carole Freeman:

This is just good-

Simon Kaufman:

The name’s going to come to me in a minute, what his name was

Carole Freeman:

… life advice. Is it Dennis Leary? No. Life advice, don’t eat yellow snow, don’t don’t take the brown acid. All right. Good, good.

Simon Kaufman:

No, it’s actually… I got to find his name. I’m Googling it. I actually performed in his hometown once.

Carole Freeman:

Wow.

Simon Kaufman:

Wavy Gravy. That’s right. His name was Wavy Gravy.

Carole Freeman:

Okay, that’s a flex.

Simon Kaufman:

Was the announcer, and his famous line was, “Don’t take the brown acid.”

Carole Freeman:

Good to know, all right.

Simon Kaufman:

I did a show one time at the Mateel Theater in Humboldt and that was his hometown. Okay, all right. I did take the brown acid so we should probably hurry this up, because right now I’m really…

Carole Freeman:

All right. I don’t know what strange creatures you have hanging out in your head, but anyways. So-

Simon Kaufman:

No, it’s just a little Woodstock historical United States knowledge for you, folks.

Carole Freeman:

For the viewers, viewers/listeners, let us know you’re here. I can see that we’ve got some people watching live, but I can’t know who you are unless you comment. We love having you here live. So please let us know you’re here. Also, my question for you is what foods or textures do you crave most? I know I’m-

Simon Kaufman:

Chips. You know what I mean?

Carole Freeman:

I know. I would say, okay, that’s for you, yes. I know what chips are. All right, Crafty’s here. She says, “Hi, Carole and Simon, I’m listening. And just got to the acid warning. Are mushrooms keto-friendly?”

Simon Kaufman:

That’s so funny.

Carole Freeman:

Also-

Simon Kaufman:

How would I answer her question, or you’re not supposed to?

Carole Freeman:

Oh, well, if they’re the culinary kind of mushroom, sure. Mushrooms are very keto friendly. I know we always end up spinning off on some drug topic on this show, but most drugs are keto friendly, but that’s not-

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, you can lose a lot of weight on some drugs.

Carole Freeman:

I guess some drugs… I’m just trying to think of what other dietary advice would be worried about? What drugs would fit that, right? Like which drugs are going to be vegan versus not vegan? Which ones are paleo and not paleo? I suppose paleo would be naturally occurring things. So like-

Simon Kaufman:

That would be a really good segment one time. Like, “I’m at the rave, what drugs can I do to stay in ketosis?” I just-

Carole Freeman:

“I’m trying to [inaudible 00:05:08] to my vegan diet, which drugs can I do?”

Simon Kaufman:

“I just smoke bath salts. I’m in Florida eating the face of a homeless person. Is that keto?” You know that story?

Carole Freeman:

It’s keto, but it’s not vegan.

Simon Kaufman:

Sure. Remember that crazy story? All right, nevermind.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crafty says she craves smooth chocolate, so not crunchy. But, glad you’re here anyways. You should still have fun. Here comes Susan from Chicago. Welcome, Susan. One of our Sues is here for our two-Sue crew. Susan has more in common with Simon, she’s a chip and cracker craver. So crunching is good.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, she knows what’s up.

Carole Freeman:

She’s in the right place here, so-

Simon Kaufman:

What’s smooth chocolate? What’s everything smooth… Is that like R&B band? What’s smooth chocolate?

Carole Freeman:

I think they’re going to be… They guessed… They fill in for the Roots on the tonight show once in a while. I think that what they do.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Is that like a smoothie? Chocolate smoothie, no?

Carole Freeman:

I think she just meaning like the texture of the chocolate needs to be really smooth.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, because you said texture. That’s right, yeah okay. Sure.

Carole Freeman:

Don’t take the brown acid. That’s going to be the show’s theme. All right. I don’t want to know what’s in your cup right now. All right, well, let’s… Time for a personal check-in segment. What’s on your personal… How are things going? Keto, weight loss, you still making it?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, no, I’m making it, never faking it. Yeah, no, I’m doing well. What is on my personal check-in? Well, I go to Hawaii next week. Got a bunch of shows on the big island. Had a great run of shows last weekend. Yeah. I’m in a competition Monday, in [inaudible 00:06:55] at a place called the [crosstalk 00:06:57].

Carole Freeman:

Competition? Arm wrestling?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, it’s a thong. Arm wrestling in a thong competition. It’s really good.

Carole Freeman:

Okay, okay. Nice.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Good thing I’ve been going keto, so my thong’s a little crunchy, but… Get it?

Carole Freeman:

But you could wash it.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:07:16] sticking with the theme. Yeah, no, [inaudible 00:07:22] is doing a comedy competition. So I signed up, so we’ll see what happens.

Carole Freeman:

Nice. All right, kill them with laughter. Murder that crowd. Well, for me, thanks for asking. Really personal stuff, I took my cat in yesterday to get his teeth cleaned, and a full shave down. He’s 17 years old. He lived through the anesthesia, so that’s a big deal. And now he’s running around with a fresh lion cut and perky, and all that. So that’s good.

Simon Kaufman:

Wow, [inaudible 00:07:59]. Bring him on.

Carole Freeman:

He’s sitting out on the balcony right now. Now that he has no hair, he’s like, “I got to sit outside in the hundred degree temperature.” But also I’m really excited, because I booked our first in-person live version of this podcast. I’ve been talking about wanting to do that for a while. It’s a few months away, October 17th. It’s going to be here in the Phoenix area. If the planets align, and the flights align, and we don’t shut down again, well, Simon will be out here for that as well too. So October 17th in Chandler, Arizona at ImprovMANIA, 3:00 PM, so ticket info-

Simon Kaufman:

So, we’re going to be doing the show live?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, it’s going to be live.

Simon Kaufman:

And we’re also doing a thong comedy competition, is that right, or what’s the deal?

Carole Freeman:

That’s after, you have to pay extra for the VIP upgrade to get to see Simon in a thong. We should do something like that. If we get enough tickets sold, then Simon will come out in a thong on stage.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, yeah. You know it.

Carole Freeman:

It’s going to be live. Those of you that can’t join us in person, you’ll be able to see it live. We’ll be broadcrasting. I don’t know have some-

Simon Kaufman:

Broadcrack? We’ll be broadcracking.

Carole Freeman:

We’ll be broadcracking from… Oh, Brenda’s here. Oh, my gosh, first time. Ola. Hi, Brenda. She’s-

Simon Kaufman:

Welcome, Brenda. They say your first time is always special.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, so you’ll be able to get tickets. So if you live in the area, or actually if you want to fly in, I think it’s a great, perfect time to come visit Phoenix, is in October. And we’ll be selling tickets. You can come and see us live in person, and we’ll be answering questions live for the people that are there in the audience too. It should be really fun, I’m really excited about it. And then the other thing I’m working on is a full revision of my keto program course for 2022, so that’ll be coming soon as well.

Carole Freeman:

Okay, Susan’s asking, “What date?” The date in Arizona, October 17th. Oh, your brother lives in Chandler. Oh, my gosh. Yes you need to come. How cool would that be if Susan’s at the [crosstalk 00:10:11]?

Simon Kaufman:

October’s is the fall?

Carole Freeman:

Yes, it is.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Please come. Yay, that would be awesome. Awesome. All right. We’ll have our first ticket sold here soon too. [Lo’65 00:10:20], “So excited to make a live. You two, are hysterical.” Awesome.

Simon Kaufman:

Nice.

Carole Freeman:

I don’t know who Lo’65 is. Apparently they have been wanting to watch this, but glad you’re here,

Simon Kaufman:

Nice. Lo’65, they tour with Smooth Chocolate. You can catch them at arenas in your area. That’s cool.

Carole Freeman:

Wait. Oh, Brenda, this is a little bit different. So this is our podcast. So she’s saying she’s not a first-timer I’ve interviewed her a couple of times now. I do a keto chat interview series, which I have interviewed Brenda before. She actually has an amazing keto weight loss story. She’s very inspirational. So, that’s where I’ve interviewed you. This is actually… It’s similar name, but Keto Chat LIVE is our podcast. We do broadcast it live, but then we also turn it into just the audio on the regular podcast platforms as well. So glad you’re here. I know it’s same names, and you’re probably watching on my…

Carole Freeman:

Oh no, you’re on Facebook. Okay, so glad you’re here, Brenda. No, she’s probably going to leave. And then Lo’65 is… Lori, “Listen to podcast on Stitcher, but first time to catch you live.”

Simon Kaufman:

Yes.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Oh, my-

Simon Kaufman:

Good luck Lori.

Carole Freeman:

Lori, I’m so glad you’re here because, all the work that I’ve done to put it up on Stitcher and Apple, and all that kind of stuff. Yay, it’s working. Yay. Oh, my gosh, that makes me so happy. All right.

Simon Kaufman:

You’re doing it.

Carole Freeman:

We’re doing it.

Simon Kaufman:

And we’re going live. October 17th, people are going to see us in the flesh.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, excellent.

Simon Kaufman:

What do I wear? What do I even wear? I don’t even know.

Carole Freeman:

I don’t know, maybe we’ll have a voter poll of what you have to wear. Viewer poll. All right. Well, for those of you that have been listening for a while, I’m launching a brand new show segment today. Are you excited?

Simon Kaufman:

New show segment. All right, sorry. That was your new show segment intro for those of you that don’t know.

Carole Freeman:

I love it. I was actually thinking like, “Oh, I wish I had some audio to play or something,” but who needs that when… You used to be in radio, so is that like a soundboard, you got, all those goofy sounds and stuff?

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, I don’t know.

Carole Freeman:

You don’t know?

Simon Kaufman:

I don’t know what you call it.

Carole Freeman:

That’s it. Brenda’s out. She’s leaving.

Simon Kaufman:

Why? And just like that, huh?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, she didn’t like… You don’t know what it’s called. She’s done. No, she’s kidding, she’s kidding. We love her. And then Crafty, “Yes on the new show segment.” Right on. Okay, nobody even knows what it is yet, but they’re excited about it.

Simon Kaufman:

What language was that? Like [foreign language 00:12:59]. Was that French, where the Qs sound like Ws? Or it’s a [foreign language 00:13:03]?

Carole Freeman:

The new [foreign language 00:13:03].

Simon Kaufman:

Yes, it’s a [foreign language 00:13:05].

Carole Freeman:

Can you talk like Jacque Cousteau?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. It’s a [foreign language 00:13:10].

Carole Freeman:

Or really, really big show. We’re really excited to have you here.

Simon Kaufman:

So what’s our new show segment [crosstalk 00:13:18]?

Carole Freeman:

The new show segment is, I’m going to give you little quick little stories of client success stories. I know that my most popular videos on YouTube are transformation videos, and it’s very inspiring. One of the things that keeps people going on their journey is hearing how others have succeeded. And so that’s why I’m bringing this in, and I want to just give you a little… Share some of these stories with you of… This is a recent person. I’m just going to… Her first name is Jennifer. I’m not going to give any information that would… Nobody’s going to be able to figure out who she is.

Simon Kaufman:

Are the names changed to protect the innocent?

Carole Freeman:

Oh, yeah, no. Susan, no. Jennifer’s our real name, but I’m not going to give any other information, but she’s in her early forties. She was somebody that… She wanted weight loss as one of the primary drivers of why she wanted keto, which is a lot of what I’m working with, with people. But, more than that, she wanted to just feel really healthy, and have a good relationship with food. She felt like she just was prone towards using food to cope with life. She was really struggling with depression, and she felt like she had a slow metabolism. So, after working with me for nine weeks, she was in such a better place. So she says she just felt better, more energy, just mental clarity like she’d never had. Emotionally, was just a huge change for her.

Carole Freeman:

One of last coaching calls with me, she literally broke down in tears, because she said she’s got gotten to the place where she’s so happy all the time, the irony of crying, because she’s so happy. She says that, “For the first time in my life I feel like I have control over food. I don’t have any cravings.” That’s huge. That was really huge for her. And she just never really felt like she could have any choice in what she was eating. She was always just following her cravings and compulsions.

Carole Freeman:

One of the big things for her that really helped too, is that she has a tendency to get [inaudible 00:15:26], and over-complicate things and dismiss all of her successes. And so, that was one of the things that I could bring to her, because I kept grounding her and helping her realize all the progress that she had had and not discounting everything.

Carole Freeman:

For example, she had really great success, all the usual suspects, but she would dismiss it by saying, “Well, I ate some processed meats and processed cheese, so I don’t know, I probably could have done a lot better.” I was like, “No, you got all the benefits of what it was. And so that’s Jennifer, just a quick little story about her. So again, weight loss, but also the bigger picture for her was just the mood stability, and the mental clarity, and just having control over the food choices she was making.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, yeah, that’s great. It sucks to feel trapped. When you feel trapped in something it sucks. It’s almost like its own little version of schizophrenia where you want it, you’re like, “Oh, I want to lose weight, but I want to eat this.” You go back and forth with this, but when you’re able to just get on one side of the fence, and take control of the reins, I can imagine how good that feels. Maybe I’ll get there one day, Carole. Maybe if I just do it again.

Carole Freeman:

Jennifer’s story, I think is really appropriate for our topic today, which is about craving crunchy. And then also the new segment that I’m going to share with you plays into this as well as for explaining why is it that keto done properly actually removes cravings, and help you feel like you are in control of what you eat. I have a little question for you there to ask me. I think it’s going to be funny, but we’ll see.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, okay.

Carole Freeman:

For our new segment, yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

Carol, why are bugs getting fatter?

Carole Freeman:

Simon, I’m so glad you asked, because I just listened to this podcast about that.

Simon Kaufman:

About fat bugs?

Carole Freeman:

Yes, yeah, actually. This is fun. I was trying to find… I subscribed to Diet Doctor Podcast as well. So this is a meta thing of a keto podcast talking about another keto podcast. But anyways, it’s good information. There’s something out there called the protein leverage hypothesis. And I learned about this several years ago on a cruise, it was a low-carb cruise. And Dr. [Tan Damon 00:17:45] was telling us about this. Even at that time he was talking about how bug biologists have noticed… Can you say that, bug biologists?

Simon Kaufman:

Bug biologists, bug biologists, bug biologists.

Carole Freeman:

Easy for you to say. They’ve noticed that bugs in the wild… Not that we have like house pet bugs or anything… But bugs in the wild are getting fatter. And they’re like, “What the heck is going on? Why is everything on this planet getting fatter?”

Simon Kaufman:

How do you know the bug’s even fat or not? What are you talking about? I’ve never looked at a… Do you self-conscious bugs, like, “Do these wings make me look fat?”

Carole Freeman:

They’ve they’ve had to… There’s the new-shaved kitty. Can you see him in the background there?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, a little bit. How do you know if bug’s fat? You weigh the thing? What do you look? You try it in different outfits?

Carole Freeman:

They have little handheld body analysis things. Like the mosquitoes will hold on to those, and then they go to Planet Fitness if they’ve gotten too fat. And then they get… Their personal trainer does calipers on them just to measure their body fat percentage.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:18:52]. Really? That’s the thing.

Carole Freeman:

I don’t know.

Simon Kaufman:

How do you know the bug’s fat? That’s really damning to call a bug fat. It’s not fat, it’s just-

Carole Freeman:

Maybe it has big bones.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:19:07].

Carole Freeman:

It has a big exoskeleton. I don’t know. The bug biologists know this. I don’t know how they know that. They’re just reporting it.

Simon Kaufman:

I know [crosstalk 00:19:17] make a hypothesis of why the bugs are getting fat. Can I tell you what I think it is?

Carole Freeman:

Okay.

Simon Kaufman:

Because they’re eating all our food that we throw in the trash, and they’re getting fatter. Like [crosstalk 00:19:28] potato chips or whatever that were eating. The next thing you know, the bugs are getting fat, like, “Oh, this stuff’s good. I bet I can’t even eat one. They got sour cream and onion flavor.” Is that it, you think?

Carole Freeman:

Could be part of it. They’re also eating the crops that we’re growing. And we’ve selectively bred our crops. Like corn and every other food that’s out there that we’re growing on this planet, we selectively bred those to be higher in carbohydrates and sugars, and lower in protein. So this whole protein leverage hypothesis. So what the bug biologist… The last episode of Diet Doctor Podcast, Dr. Bret Scher was interviewing these bug biologists that have put a paper out, I think they have a book too.

Carole Freeman:

They found that all species have a protein appetite. Meaning we have a certain amount of protein that we need to eat to be alive, and when our food is dense in protein, we’ll meet our protein needs earlier. We don’t need to eat as many calories. So, if you’re eating steak, you’re going to get your protein appetite satisfied quickly. You’re not going to eat too much steak. But if you’re eating foods that are highly refined process, you’re talking about like the potato chips or other garbage foods like that, they’re very low in protein. Part of the reason why is this called a hypothesis is, they’re saying that, because most of the food supply, most of the foods that most people in the US, and now around the planet, are eating, are processed high carb, high fat foods with very low protein.

Carole Freeman:

In order to get our protein needs met, we have to eat a lot more calories. And so this is part of the equation of why bugs are getting fatter and humans are getting fatter as well, is because we need to focus on protein. And to meet our protein appetite, we have to eat a lot more calories to satisfy that. This was not new, this part of the podcast. I’d learned this before, but the part that was really fascinating to me was that they’ve also found that in addition to having a protein appetite, we have a fat appetite. Fat actually has vitamins in it that we need that are essential for our life and health. And also certain fatty acids are essential for our health as well. And so it makes sense they’re needed for survival that we would actually have an appetite that regulates us getting enough fat so that we can be healthy.

Carole Freeman:

Those two things together explain a lot of why, when people do keto correctly, they get adequate protein and they get enough fat, that they’re so much more satisfied, that they don’t have excessive appetite, they’re not craving. They’re not trying to eat tons and tons of food to try to meet these needs. This also is a good comparison to why, when people try to do low-fat dieting, they’re getting adequate protein usually, but they’re feeling hungry all the time. Even when your stomach is full of food, like a big, giant salad with low fat dressing on it, you still feel kind of hungry, because you haven’t met your fat appetite yet. So fascinating stuff.

Simon Kaufman:

Your fappetite?

Carole Freeman:

Fappetite, yeah. Your proppetite and fappetite.

Simon Kaufman:

You got to hook up your fappatite. But look, listen, I’m glad the bees are fat and all the bugs. I’m sick of these skinny-ass bugs running around. If we’re going to be fat, then they better be fat too. What’s the whole point? What are we walking around fat, and they’re all skinny? Forget about it.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, yeah. It’s just not fair.

Simon Kaufman:

Let’s fatten up the bugs.

Carole Freeman:

Life is unfair, so [crosstalk 00:23:01].

Simon Kaufman:

A lot of people like fat bugs.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with them.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Nothing wrong with fat bugs.

Carole Freeman:

Their acceptable.

Simon Kaufman:

Fat bugs are fit. You have to be yourself.

Carole Freeman:

They deserve love, and hopefully, they have clothing shops that fit their body too. Oh, hey look, who just showed up.

Simon Kaufman:

Nice.

Carole Freeman:

We got Butterfly Sue from the UK, how you-

Simon Kaufman:

What up?

Carole Freeman:

She’s doing a Joey Tribbiani on us. “How you doing?”

Simon Kaufman:

Nice.

Carole Freeman:

How you doing, Sue? How you doing?

Simon Kaufman:

What if the bugs get so fat, the flyswatters don’t work? They’re just so fat, you swat it with the flyswatter, and just looks up, and you’d be like, “Oh yeah?” And just like comes right at you.

Carole Freeman:

They’re going to have to make a new design. Instead of flat, it’s got a extra little bump in it that the fly body will fit in there.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. What if the fly is so fat, you hit it with the flyswatter, it doesn’t die. Well, you’re so fat, you can’t even swing twice, you’re like, “Oh.” You’re spending all your energy on the first swing. And then the fly just swarms you.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, Lori’s not happy about the… She doesn’t like fat bugs. Most people don’t like bugs in general, just thinking about it getting even bigger it’s kind of scarier.

Simon Kaufman:

It’s not that I like fat bugs. I just don’t like skinny bugs walking around, looking all skinny, getting all the larva, getting all the girly bugs or whatever.

Carole Freeman:

You’re just jealous. That’s what it is. You’re-

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. I’m going to be fat you should be fat. That’s how I see it.

Carole Freeman:

You’re fat shaming the thin bugs, are you?

Simon Kaufman:

You know what? I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it.

Carole Freeman:

Okay. All right. Let it be known, folks, that Simon is sick of skinny bugs, and he’s happy about them.

Simon Kaufman:

Skinny bugs you fit more in places. Fat, you only get a couple in. She’s going kill them with a [crosstalk 00:24:57], but whatever.

Carole Freeman:

Fat bugs make a bigger mess on your windshield though.

Simon Kaufman:

That’s true. Imagine they get so fat, they just start [inaudible 00:25:04], and you start getting bug dings on your windshield.

Carole Freeman:

You have to have rock chip service, and bug chip service, right?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, or [inaudible 00:25:13].

Carole Freeman:

What if clogging up airplane engines, too?

Simon Kaufman:

What if they unionize, just start coming after us for higher wages? [crosstalk 00:25:24].

Carole Freeman:

Lori says, “[crosstalk 00:25:24] protein.” Actually, that’s what the problem is, is they don’t. They have the same amount of body protein, but just comparatively, they have more fat on their body, too. They’re seeking out adequate protein, and in the process, they’re overeating to try to get their average protein. So, fun stuff. Fat bugs, all right. All the things you’d never think we would be talking about on here. I’m just so excited that we’ve got a new live viewer that found us on the podcast network.

Simon Kaufman:

We’re blowing up, yo.

Carole Freeman:

Yes, yes.

Simon Kaufman:

Where are you from, Lo’65?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, Lo’65 Lori, where do you live? [crosstalk 00:26:06].

Simon Kaufman:

Lo’65. Where are you? Get it? Like [inaudible 00:26:10]. Nevermind.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, oh.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:26:12] 65?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, but that was before your time.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, obviously it wasn’t, because I just gave the reference.

Carole Freeman:

Do you watch it like on Nick at Nite on reruns or something?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Nick at Nite. That should be your new- Lo’65, where are you?

Carole Freeman:

Oh, she’s in Washington. So she can come out and see. She’s in between Cle Elum and Ellensburg, so she’s [crosstalk 00:26:36].

Simon Kaufman:

Nice. I was just out there last weekend, driving through it, performing in Moses Lake. We stopped off in Cle Elum for beef jerky. No sugar, by the way, the beef jerky, at Glondo’s Sausage, whatever, House or whatever you call it. It’s called Glondo’s. It’s like a slaughterhouse, it has beef jerky, in Cle Elum. I always stop there.

Carole Freeman:

Lucky [crosstalk 00:26:53].

Simon Kaufman:

And no sugar.

Carole Freeman:

That’s amazing. That’s hard to find. I remember that was one of my favorite foods out in Hawaii was that thin… Those… I call it beef potato chips.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. That’s crunchy.

Carole Freeman:

Speaking of that, I need to put that on our list. What was that called? It has a name.

Simon Kaufman:

It’s just the Hawaiian style. They make it really crunchy.

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:27:17].

Simon Kaufman:

There’s a kind that has no sugar. If you remind me, I’ll ship you some.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, my gosh. It’s the best. Can you smuggle some in your suitcase on the way back?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:27:30]-

Simon Kaufman:

I’ll dress as a bug, so I can pad myself and walk around in a bumblebee suit like from that one music video from the 90s.

Carole Freeman:

Just strap all the meat chips on you.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, I’ll strap the meat chips, and smuggle them on the plane. “Oh, really? Legitimately that’s your family? Okay. Now you have to ship us up.” No, it’s really delicious though, that stuff.

Carole Freeman:

Or maybe it’s like… What’s that slogan like? “Something’s like family.” Like, “When you eat there you’re family,” or something. Is that an Applebee’s slogan? No, that can’t be.

Simon Kaufman:

When you listen to Keto Chat LIVE, you’re like family.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:28:10] borrow your car and $20.

Carole Freeman:

And we’re going to argue it at holidays gatherings.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:28:17]. We can throw dishes at you, because you’re like family.

Carole Freeman:

And-

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, okay. Wow.

Carole Freeman:

Lori’s related to the people that make the beef jerky out in… Is the middle of Washington? Central Washington? Something like that.

Simon Kaufman:

Pretty much, I guess, yeah. What is it, like an hour past Issaquah, I think, if I’m not mistaken. Ellensburg’s two hours out of Seattle.

Carole Freeman:

All right, we got the official review of our show today. Lori says, “Ha-ha.” All right, good. We’re good.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay. That’s a review.

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:28:50]. Uh-uh (negative).

Simon Kaufman:

No, but Lori, you come from good stock because the [inaudible 00:28:55] has place is really good. No, it’s actually a really good place, man. They have delicious, delicious stuff, so you should check it out.

Carole Freeman:

Cool.

Simon Kaufman:

When you and the family are vacationing in Cle Elum, because you couldn’t afford Disneyland, you settled on the best restaurant Cle Elum, you go to Glondo’s. Deal. Trust me.

Carole Freeman:

Nice.

Simon Kaufman:

It’s a cool little town, actually. It’s a cool little town.

Carole Freeman:

Sweet. Glowing recommendations. Maybe they’ll a sponsor our show or something.

Simon Kaufman:

Maybe we do live from Cle Elum, Washington. Dude, I’m telling you.

Carole Freeman:

Why not? Why not? Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

Live from Glondo’s. It’s keto.

Carole Freeman:

Lori says, “Just a little over an hour and very good.”

Simon Kaufman:

Very good.

Carole Freeman:

“Mother married into the Glondo family.”

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, nice.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, in-laws. Ooh, that sounds like some juicy [inaudible 00:29:43].

Simon Kaufman:

No, it’s a legit place, man. They have real good olives, fancy cheeses, fancy meats. They own the slaughterhouse.

Carole Freeman:

Cool.

Simon Kaufman:

Really good wine. Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Excellent.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. When you go do your comedy show in Spokane, aren’t you performing in Walla Walla or something, coming up in August?

Carole Freeman:

Pullman.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay. You can stop [crosstalk 00:30:04].

Carole Freeman:

Is that on the way? Okay. Lori’s going to hook you up. All right, awesome. Well, should we get into the… All of the segments today fit together, but the promise topic, the crunchy topic-

Simon Kaufman:

Let’s just keep talking about fat bugs. [crosstalk 00:30:18].

Carole Freeman:

We’re never going to stop talking about fat bugs, but we can just segue into the next topic. Actually the… Our topic today is viewer submitted. Simon writes, “The hardest part of sticking to keto long-term is craving crunchy things. What can I do?” Can you guess which Simon that is?

Simon Kaufman:

Well, it’s true. After a while you need something of different consistency. You crave chips or something, you know what I mean?

Carole Freeman:

Well, I do. I’m making a joke out of the fact that I said it’s viewer submitted, but it’s one of the show people that submitted this topic. But, all of you are listening, watching, submit topics. We’re here to answer things. So Lori says, “They are FDA approved, so meats can be served in restaurants as well.” I would hope they’re FDA approved. Is there meat being sold places that’s not FDA approved?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, I just stopped eating in Hawaii. Are we FDA approved?

Carole Freeman:

Well, nobody’s eating-

Simon Kaufman:

How did we get FDA approved?

Carole Freeman:

Nobody’s eating us? FDA has approved bugs. I guess [crosstalk 00:31:23].

Simon Kaufman:

I know, but, do they approved podcasts? Like, “This podcast is approved by the FDA.”

Carole Freeman:

No, I think they’re more… Yeah, definitely not approved by them. I think FTC can shut down things that promise false things. I don’t know.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, oh, oh. The FTC… Oh, okay. I thought you meant that-

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Different one. Anyways.

Simon Kaufman:

Maybe when we’re big enough, someone will shut us down.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, my gosh. I hope not.

Simon Kaufman:

That’s when you know you’re successful, when the government comes after you. When we start a revolution, or we start… We form a [crosstalk 00:31:57]. We start marrying off people like Reverend Moon. I think we talked about… Did we talk about that last week.

Carole Freeman:

Yes. I did look him up a little bit, but I was like, “Oh, boy.”

Simon Kaufman:

No, but that’s actually a really good idea for the show. We do arranged ketogenic marriages between keto people.

Carole Freeman:

It definitely is easier to stay on track when your whole household is following the same way of eating, so-

Simon Kaufman:

Right?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, absolutely. That’s the only way that we could get you on track, was to sequester you in Arizona for 10 days, and-

Simon Kaufman:

The keto matchmaker.

Carole Freeman:

… slap your hand every time you tried to buy some potato chips.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, we could be the keto matchmaker show. Where we match people with true love, keto love.

Carole Freeman:

Okay. maybe-

Simon Kaufman:

The only type of love that truly lasts.

Carole Freeman:

… Maybe people will meet. They’ll go to see one of our live events, and they’ll meet in person, and then they’ll lock eyes, and it was meant to be.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, my God.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

We’re bringing people together. We’re spreading love.

Carole Freeman:

We’re going to heal everything.

Simon Kaufman:

And then they have a child, but that child turns into be a demon and destroys the world. No, wait. No, let me rewrite that. Then they have a child, but the child turns out to be a saint, and redeems the world, and ends up developing world peace and-

Carole Freeman:

They develop-

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:33:13] it’s all because of our show.

Carole Freeman:

Yes, the child in a lab creates world peace and makes everyone [crosstalk 00:33:21] back together.

Simon Kaufman:

No, but we bring a family together. They have a child, and then before you know it, the world is saved because of our podcast. I see it. It can happen.

Carole Freeman:

But also we’re not trying to heal anything. Please go back and listen to the medical disclaimer. We’re not healing anything. This is for entertainment [crosstalk 00:33:39].

Simon Kaufman:

No, we’re not healing anything. We’re just promising world peace.

Carole Freeman:

Oh. Susan from Chicago saying, “Yes, the keto matchmaker.”

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, you want a Jewish husband? Let me… You want a doctor? We got to find Susan a doctor. He’s a keto doctor. We got you. Don’t even worry about it. I’m already on it.

Carole Freeman:

You got the Rolodex of keto-friendly Jewish-

Simon Kaufman:

There should just be a show where we call doctors, be like, “Yo, are you single?”

Carole Freeman:

“You okay with a keto lover?” “Are you okay loving a keto lover?”

Simon Kaufman:

Keto lover, that’s the hit single from Chocolate Smooth. “Keto lover, from Chocolate Smooth. Coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, before the commercial break, we have the hit single Chocolate Smooth, it’s Keto Lover.” Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Simon’s a [inaudible 00:34:45] today. What a good show. All right. All right. So what is the deal with these crunchy cravings? Oh, I forgot to update my… I did the outline before the show and I messed that part.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, what’re you going to do?

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:35:02] definitely. All right, so-

Simon Kaufman:

Why do we crave crunchy is the question.

Carole Freeman:

Why do we crave crunchy in the first place?

Simon Kaufman:

The crave-crunchy question.

Carole Freeman:

I have bad news for y’all. Crunchy is not a natural texture in food. In all of the food that exists in nature, none of it’s crunchy.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, yeah? Tell that to a carrot. That’s insensitive.

Carole Freeman:

You’re not craving carrots. I’m sorry. You’re not craving carrots.

Simon Kaufman:

Carrots are crunchy.

Carole Freeman:

They are, but that’s how it’s-

Simon Kaufman:

Cucumbers and celery. My uncle was a carrot and I find this offensive.

Carole Freeman:

Did you crave your uncle?

Simon Kaufman:

I’m triggered.

Carole Freeman:

You craved your uncle. That’s okay, that’s weird. That’s… Love is love, I guess.

Simon Kaufman:

Love is love. I’m just saying I never crave a carrot, but carrots are crunchy.

Carole Freeman:

Right, right, right.

Simon Kaufman:

What do you have to say about that?

Carole Freeman:

But the crunchy… But also we can look at like… Carrots aren’t even very natural anyways. But that’s a whole other topic. So, the crunch that people crave is because they’re craving highly processed food. For example, like snack foods, fried foods, the chips and crackers we’ve been talking about. The reason that we crave crunchy in the first place is because our brain is seeking something that’s going to give us that highly rewarding dopamine endorphin in our brain, so it’s the association.

Carole Freeman:

Who here remembers Pavlov? The guy who trained the dog, that every time he fed the dog he rang the bell. And so then the dog associated the sound of the bell with getting fed, and so the brain learned that. And so the guy could actually just ring the bell and the dog would start to salivate without even being fed. So, this is conditioning that happens. When you eat these highly rewarding foods, they’re all highly palatable, means a combination of fat and carbs together, that hits the brain and makes us want to not stop eating it. That’s where Lay’s gets their slogan, “But you can’t just eat one.” That’s the definition of something that’s a highly palatable food.

Carole Freeman:

They’re also very high calorie. And again, it’s that combination of fat and carbs together that turns on that part of the brain that goes like, “Oh my God, I can’t stop.” This also happens, on a serious note, when, especially women, but men suffer from this as well, where they get that feeling of like binge eating. It’s because of these foods, the way that they’re drived. And so, we’re telling people that have a disorder that they can’t control themselves around these foods, but it’s just the way that we’re wired as humans, is to really, really over eat that. The reason that we… The crunchy craving is the bell ringing. It’s not that we’re really craving crunchy, we want a food that hits our reward center of our brain. Are you following?

Simon Kaufman:

What about-

Carole Freeman:

The crunchy-

Simon Kaufman:

… What about nuts and stuff?

Carole Freeman:

Well, I’m going to come up with my recommendations for you.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay.

Carole Freeman:

But, in nature [crosstalk 00:38:08], or have you ever like picked a raw macadamia nut and eaten it fresh, raw off the tree?

Simon Kaufman:

You got to crack it open.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. But they’re not as crunchy as when they roast them and salt them.

Simon Kaufman:

No, but if you don’t crack it open, it’s really crunchy. It’ll crunch your tooth off

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. All nuts are, yeah, yeah. All right. Sue coming in from UK with a crunchy apple.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, there you go. And apples are crunchy.

Carole Freeman:

Kind of, yeah. Uh-oh, Susan’s confessing. She’s eating some pickle chips. Maybe craving salty. All right.

Simon Kaufman:

She doesn’t mean like the pickle-flavor chips. She means the pickle.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, pickles?

Simon Kaufman:

It’s like pickle chips. Right?

Carole Freeman:

Oh, okay. Simon’s explaining what Susan’s meaning. That’s good.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. That was a Jewish thing.

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:38:56]. Okay, okay.

Simon Kaufman:

She’s eating a pickle. What you do? What do you do? [crosstalk 00:39:04].

Carole Freeman:

Well, I’ve got my list. I’ve got recommendations for you. We’re going to solve this. I’m not just saying give up. Hopefully, those of you that are regular listeners-

Simon Kaufman:

I’m saying give up. I’m saying it’s not worth it. Just give up.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Just eat potato chips the rest of your life. Don’t even try to be healthy.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Just give up. What are you going to do?

Carole Freeman:

Hopefully, you all know me well enough to know I like to explain the why behind it. That helps empower you to make a different choice rather than just, “Eat this. Don’t eat that.” Like, “Why not?” Oh, okay, so Susan’s talking about a specific type of chip that are low carb ones. Okay. Oh, I know which one you’re talking about. They actually sell those out here. The Keto Kitchen Confections that I never got to take Simon to, but they sell those there. I’ve had those. Okay.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, maybe if you truly cared, you would have taken me.

Carole Freeman:

Well, I don’t know. I get [crosstalk 00:39:52].

Simon Kaufman:

How do I even know you love me?

Carole Freeman:

I only had so much time to take you. Drive you around like Mrs. Daisy. Ms. Daisy.

Simon Kaufman:

That’s true.

Carole Freeman:

Mrs. Daisy, or Miss Daisy? I don’t know.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:40:01].

Carole Freeman:

All right. Hopefully, we’re all getting like the… The reason we crave crunchy is because that’s what’s associated with these foods that light up our brain like a Christmas tree. So, the crunchy part is just because your brain wants to eat something high carb, high reward. Understanding that is really important, to know that that’s what that craving really means. It’s just that your brain is having a carb craving. It’s having a craving and it wants to hit… It’s the same thing as a heroin addict trying to get clean, and they’re craving heroin. Somebody who’s a smoker who’s trying to quit smoking, but they have the association that every time they pick up the phone, they light up a cigarette.

Carole Freeman:

My mom, for example, is recently working on quitting, and that was always a hard time for her, was that she has the association that when she talks on the phone, she smokes a cigarette, and so this is the same thing. Whenever she’d pick up the phone, she’d get a really big craving to smoke. So, same thing with like, we’re craving crunchy, because we want the cigarette. Not because we want the crunchy part.

Simon Kaufman:

So you’re saying, “Just smoke that. Don’t break your diet. Just smoke.” Is that what [crosstalk 00:41:08] getting from you?

Carole Freeman:

Not that it’s healthy, but smoking is keto.

Simon Kaufman:

Smoking is keto. So yeah. “[crosstalk 00:00:41:17]?” “You think this helps?” “Just smoke cigarettes-

Carole Freeman:

I think so.

Simon Kaufman:

… You don’t need to eat a bunch of chips.”

Carole Freeman:

We’re getting popular. It must be helping.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay.

Carole Freeman:

All right, so what are we to do? We could just give up-

Simon Kaufman:

That’s you know the disclaimer’s right, that this isn’t medical advice, because I’m like, “When you’re getting a craving, just smoke a cigarette.”

Carole Freeman:

I think that’s what they told women in the 60s and 70s, right?

Simon Kaufman:

What?

Carole Freeman:

If you get a… “Smoke.” That was a good appetite control.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, okay, sure. Really?

Carole Freeman:

We’re just going to go back to those old timey advices.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, okay. That’s funny.

Carole Freeman:

[inaudible 00:41:53] to know that. Yeah. No, that was a common… Anyways, I don’t want to bring that up, because we’re going to hit get people smoking.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. That’s not good.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, no.

Simon Kaufman:

On a health podcast. There you go. That’s the winner.

Carole Freeman:

Fat bugs and smoking advice. No. Just jokes, folks.

Simon Kaufman:

“Tune in for a health podcast.” “Have you tried menthol 100?”

Carole Freeman:

Oh, you’re joking about that, but I’ve seen this trend in biohacking podcasts that they’re all talking about nicotine. Using nicotine strategically, but not smoking it. But apparently you can get these little nicotine packets that you can put in your mouth, and lozenges. Some of the keto, not keto specifically, but just health biohackers are starting to talk about using that to focus, and things like that. So I think it’s really interesting that there is kind of a movement, not for smoking, but for nicotine, for targeted use. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes. All right, so you want my recommendations? Simon says, “Just give up and eat it.” I say something different.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Just give up. You’ll never make it. Tune in next week.

Carole Freeman:

“It’s too hard. It’s too much work.”

Simon Kaufman:

Okay, sorry. You’ll make it. You’re going to make it. Now listen to Carole’s recommendations, and you can make it. All right, are we ready?

Carole Freeman:

Simon’s TED talk is over now.

Simon Kaufman:

Simon’s TED talk, yeah. Have you ever felt like quitting? Just do it. I’m the worst.

Carole Freeman:

First of all, I would recommend… When you’re trying to stick with keto, you’re struggling with crunchy craving, “I want something crunchy,” first step I would do, is just take a step back, and ask yourself like, “Am I really hungry? Or is this just a craving with a past association? Is this just me wanting a cigarette?”

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, like, ” [crosstalk 00:44:00] my body need nourishment or is it just…” Yeah, I get that.

Carole Freeman:

Right. Yeah, yeah. See if you can step back from that. And I recommend… If you go back to our first 10 episodes where I give you the 10 rules to follow for best results, this can fit in there as well. It’s breaking that habit pattern, that association. Typically, the first three days of dealing with something that’s an addiction or that part of the brain, is the hardest, and it gets easier. The cravings will go away the more you stay away from it. If you’re really, really struggling, it’s too hard, give yourself a 30 day vacation from any crunchy snacks at all. That will teach your brain a lesson.

Carole Freeman:

I forgot to mention as well, is that actually some craving… Oh, I’m sorry. Some crunchy desire, not craving, but desire, can just be from that… When we have a variety of textures in our food, in our meals, we have more enjoyment from them. If you’ve ever had a plate of all mushy food, which is my family at Thanksgiving, it’s kind of like, “Hmm, okay, it’s comfort food, but it’s not as satisfying as if you have a variety of textures in a meal.” So I’m going to give you some recommendations for that.

Simon Kaufman:

You, guys have mushy Thanksgivings? Like you have mushy turkey, or what?

Carole Freeman:

Mom, I love you, but you weren’t the best cook growing up. But that’s not her fault. Her mom was a great cook, but never taught her. [crosstalk 00:45:21]-

Simon Kaufman:

The next thing you know you got mushy turkey.

Carole Freeman:

Well, the turkey wasn’t mushy, but it was pretty dry. Yeah, making me choke up, just thinking about it.

Simon Kaufman:

From tears, or from remembering the dryness?

Carole Freeman:

From trying to swallow it.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. I hear you.

Carole Freeman:

Yes. Yes. All right. If you really struggle with a crunchy addiction, take a 30-day break from it. Talk to that carb monster in your brain. Tell it it’s not the boss of you. And also remind yourself, you’re not your cravings, your thoughts are not who you are. And so if you can separate them from you by calling it the carb monster, name it after your ex that you hate, that’s very toxic in your life. Give it a bad image, and it’s a separate thing, that that’s what’s doing that, that can give you a lot of control and leverage, and help you be really empowered over those things. Susan is sharing, “I do think that craving cravings go away. I ate crunchy Asian chicken salad every day. Lots of cabbage.” Okay, so that’s another good-

Simon Kaufman:

I’ve never met a Asian chicken. That’s fascinating.

Carole Freeman:

They make them. They grow them. Anyways, yeah. Gain control over that carb monster in your brain. But if it is truly just seeking variety and textures, I got you too. I got you, keto fam. We got some solutions there.

Simon Kaufman:

We got solutions.

Carole Freeman:

We got answers. Sue in the UK, Butterfly Sue says, “Think about your teeth when you’re eating crunchy stuff.” Well, I’m not recommending any bones or anything like that. Rocks. Are rocks crunchy? I don’t know. I think.

Simon Kaufman:

Are rocks keto? I don’t think so.

Carole Freeman:

No.

Simon Kaufman:

No.

Carole Freeman:

There’s no carbs in rocks.

Simon Kaufman:

They’re not calorically dense, but they’re just dense dense.

Carole Freeman:

You might have to have surgery to remove them if you eat too many, but it’s not going to kick you out of ketosis.

Simon Kaufman:

You sure?

Carole Freeman:

Yes, yes.

Simon Kaufman:

Have you read the studies?

Carole Freeman:

That’s funny. I know some people are like, “I don’t know.” I know there’s no carbs in there, but I’m still… I want to see a double-blind placebo-controlled [crosstalk 00:47:31].

Simon Kaufman:

Don’t eat rocks at home, folks. Okay?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

Two of us are trained professionals.

Carole Freeman:

We’re going to have to have a warning at the bottom. “Do not attempt at home, folks. [crosstalk 00:47:41] trained professionals.” All right. The good news is, there are plenty of crunchy foods that are keto friendly so that you can have texture variety in your meal, and still stay keto. Things like celery, pickles. Not the ones that you claim that Susan was eating, but pickles are crunchy if they’re made correctly. And also pickled veggies too, so like pickled cauliflower. You can pickle almost any veggie as well, and those can be a good crunch. And the crunch in the vinegar and the salt together are extra satisfying too, because a lot of those crunchy carby foods are salty as well.

Simon Kaufman:

Does your mom served crunchy pickles?

Carole Freeman:

She did. When I was growing up we had-

Simon Kaufman:

The mushy pickles.

Carole Freeman:

… At the holiday… See, this was the one thing at Thanksgiving I liked. It was this… You take a piece of lunch meat, put some cream cheese on it, and a little bit of a sweet pickle, which isn’t keto friendly, but they make sugar-free sweet pickles now, I’ve got some. And then you roll them up into little hors d’oeuvres. There was a little bit of a crunch in the middle.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, okay. There you go.

Carole Freeman:

Salty, sweet, and crunchy, and soft all together. Hit all the culinary notes there.

Simon Kaufman:

Gourmet.

Carole Freeman:

Yes. Pork rinds for our non-Jewish friends, those are going to be keto-friendly crunchy things. Slivered almonds, or nuts, those are going to be crunchy. They’re keto friendly in a small portion, but also be careful with those. If you struggle with portion control, that may be a slippery slope for you if nuts are not something that you can control. But, a little bit of slivered almonds is a nice little bit of crunch on a salad. Like Susan’s Asian chickens that she’s harvesting, little bit of a slivered almonds on there can give the nice little crunch. Crispy fried chicken skins, you can make those at home. You can… There’s actually a company out there called Flock that you can buy a bag of chicken fried skins that are kind of like potato chips, a hundred percent chicken skin.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay, but you’re not saying fried chicken?

Carole Freeman:

Well, not fried chicken with the coating, the breading on it.

Simon Kaufman:

No.

Carole Freeman:

But you can fry chicken with the skin on it.

Simon Kaufman:

If you could have fried chicken, I already would have done that already.

Carole Freeman:

You can make a keto-friendly fried chicken.

Simon Kaufman:

Really?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

How come we waited this long to tell me that?

Carole Freeman:

You’re so much. Oh, man. Well, this is the only reason I started this podcast, so that I get an hour every week to teach you keto.

Simon Kaufman:

You can have a KFC, Keto Fried Chicken? Go down to KFC?

Carole Freeman:

Yes, I bet, yeah. Well you just do a substitute for the breading, because you can make a keto-friendly breading. Not that you’re going to have this version, but you can make it out of pork rinds. You can also make one out of like almond meal and eggs. You can also do it with some Parmesan cheese, really finely grated Parmesan cheese, you can make batter and coding out of that as well. Lots of options there.

Carole Freeman:

My retreat, the virtual retreat that I did a few months back for my clients, we had Kristie Sullivan come on as our cooking demo, and she taught us how to make crispy chicken skin. You can bake it in the oven. I did mine in the air fryer. Here’s the quick little tip for that, is just buy chicken thighs with the skin on, and slap some mayonnaise on there, and then cover it with some shredded Parmesan and then bake it. And it’s going to make a nice crispy, crunchy coating on the outside.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:51:14], Kristie Sullivan, or Crispy Sullivan?

Carole Freeman:

Crispy Sullivan, yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

Crispy? Her name’s Crispy?

Carole Freeman:

No, it’s Kristie.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, Kristie. Do you ever call her Crispy Kristie?

Carole Freeman:

I did not, but you have.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay.

Carole Freeman:

Okay. Lori says she’s loved nuts. She’s a… “I’m a…” Wait. I think this is not a moderator or you are a nut moderator. I don’t know. It’s all or nothing or do [crosstalk 00:51:42].

Simon Kaufman:

I’m not a nut moderator.

Carole Freeman:

Okay. I think that’s… Yeah. No, that’s true. Most people have a difficult time with moderating nuts. For me, they tend to be something that once in a while I’ll have them in the house, but they don’t live here most of the time just because they are very easy to overeat. Roast chicken in the oven, Butterfly Sue’s given us that. Yeah, that nice crispy skin on the outside. That’s going to give you some… Ooh, I don’t know if I’m going to say that word on… “Flock, they are so good.” Is that how I can say that, and get away with it?

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, you just did.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. But, actually there’s a brand of chicken skins. You can buy that’s Flock, F-L-O-C-K.

Simon Kaufman:

Really?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Chicken skin [crosstalk 00:52:22].

Simon Kaufman:

You just buy the skin?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, just like a bag of potato chips. It’s just the fried chicken skins, yep.

Simon Kaufman:

Oh, my God. Somebody is making a fortune on that idea. What, did you just buy the bones? “We take off the chicken, and sell you the bones.”

Carole Freeman:

Well, what are they doing with all the chicken skins anyways, right? Because most of the chicken at the grocery store is skinless, boneless, so they probably getting those skin pretty cheap.

Simon Kaufman:

They are selling them to you. Okay.

Carole Freeman:

[crosstalk 00:52:47].

Simon Kaufman:

Is it good?

Carole Freeman:

I tried them when they first came on the market, and they were way too greasy, so I haven’t tried them since. If anybody’s tried the Flock chicken crisps, I think that’s maybe what they call them, let me know. When they first came on the market, they were too greasy, so I don’t know [crosstalk 00:53:04].

Simon Kaufman:

Well, that’s weird that [crosstalk 00:53:04] a bag filled with chicken fried skins would be greasy. I would never have guessed that.

Carole Freeman:

Lightly greasy, fine. But oily greasy, it was just too much. Oh, I missed Crafty’s comment here too about she likes sunflower seeds, and the shell for crunch and salt, and snack cravings.

Simon Kaufman:

I love sunflower seeds.

Carole Freeman:

All right, fried chicken skins, either homemade, air fryer, oven, or you can buy them from this other company. They’ll probably be more of those coming on the market soon. Cheese crisp snack things that you can buy as well. Moon Cheese is one brand of those, there’s another brand that’s Cheese Whisps, that’s on the market as well. Those make great croutons on a salad. If you’re… As a snack, they can be easy to overeat, but using them as in the place of crackers or in the place of chips, they’re great dipped in guacamole or salsa or anything like that, any kind of dips like that as well.

Carole Freeman:

I like to have those at parties where other people are having some kind of chip or something like that. I’ll have the cheese whisps. They also make a version of them that’s pretty big, like the size of a cracker. And so those are a little bit bigger for like, if you want to do some kind of a charcuterie or… What are they called? Tapas, or something else like that type of plate, then-

Simon Kaufman:

Who’s Chuck Routary?

Carole Freeman:

Chuck Routary. I think he was the host of the-

Simon Kaufman:

Dating game.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Was that it? I was like, “[crosstalk 00:00:54:37]-”

Simon Kaufman:

“This is the Dating Game with Chuck Routary.”

Carole Freeman:

Yeah, Chuck Routary.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, it was Chuck Woolery.

Carole Freeman:

“We’ll be back in two and two.”

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. What’s that even mean?

Carole Freeman:

Two minutes, two seconds, it’s what…

Simon Kaufman:

Is that what it means?

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

But I [crosstalk 00:54:48] one time, and it wasn’t two minutes and two seconds.

Carole Freeman:

I think… He admitted one time that it was like… I watched that show all the time. I think he just said like, “Ah, just sounds good. Two and two.” Crafty, “It’s easy to make Parmesan and crisp like whisps.” Say that three times fast.

Simon Kaufman:

Crisp like whisp. Crisp like whisp. Crisp like whisps.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Well, so I got just a couple more in all and then we’ll-

Simon Kaufman:

Crisp like whisps.

Carole Freeman:

… [crosstalk 00:55:09] more. Fried, baked cheese topping. Like I just talked about with the Crispy Sullivan technique that she taught us. And then I added-

Simon Kaufman:

You know Crispy, you know her.

Carole Freeman:

The beginning of the show I talked about… Simon reminded me that Hawaiian style beef jerky. They make one that’s no sugar added. Oh, my gosh. So good. It’s like shaved beef, but then is air dried and with salt. And it’s just exactly like beef potato chips, is what it tastes like to me.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, I’ll ship you some. Don’t even worry about it.

Carole Freeman:

Thankfully, they’re so expensive. They’re hard to overeat them, because…

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, yeah, so that’s what Lori was trying to say. She was saying that the Flock brand are good. Okay, so we’ve got a recent update on that. So it wasn’t, “Oh, Flock, they’re good,” but, “Flock is good.”

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, and they’re flocking good.

Carole Freeman:

They’re flocking good. I don’t know why they haven’t jumped on that slogan yet, but… Let’s see, we’ve got some other… Oh. You can make homemade crispy cheese too. There’s a place here. I took Simon there were a couple of times. They make taco shells out of fried cheese. And so you can literally just sprinkle cheese in a small little saute pan and cook it until it’s crispy. And you can make that into a taco shell. Oh, I forgot this one. Bacon, for those of you that eat bacon. Beef bacon, pork bacon, crispy, crunchy. That’s a good crunchy satisfier, right?

Simon Kaufman:

[inaudible 00:56:35].

Carole Freeman:

You can also make your own cheese. Like Crafty was saying, you can make your own homemade cheese crisps. I’ve done this before, where you take an entire baking sheet to line it with parchment paper, cover it in shredded cheese, and you can bake it basically until it’s nice and crispy. It cooks some of the fat out of it too. So, oh, [crosstalk 00:56:58]-

Simon Kaufman:

You can make your own homemade cheese if you have a goat or something.

Carole Freeman:

… Butterfly Sue, we love her here, but she’s not a keto person, so her recommendations may not actually be keto. The cheese and bacon part of your suggestion, Sue but-

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:57:13]. You know what, Sue? Get with it here.

Carole Freeman:

Potatoes are very high carb You could do… Oh, but… Okay, so for those of you… Okay, so she’s suggesting potato skins with cheese and bacon. Here’s my way of making that a keto version. Take a zucchini, cut in half, dig a little bit of the guts out of it, shove it full of cheese and bacon. Bake in the oven. That’s the list.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay. What if you peeled the potato? You know how you peel a potato, and you just get the [crosstalk 00:57:42], is that still carbohydrated?

Carole Freeman:

You mean just the dirty brown [crosstalk 00:57:49]?

Simon Kaufman:

Just the dirty brown part. Is that…

Carole Freeman:

I don’t know. That’s kind of like asking like, “If I only eat the crust of bread, is that keto?” If it’s brown, is it not white?

Simon Kaufman:

Well, for the acid, if it’s brown, it’s not white. And remember you do want to avoid the brown acid.

Carole Freeman:

Full circle. We full circled that, didn’t we?

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Don’t eat the brown bread.

Simon Kaufman:

Do not eat the brown acid. I repeat. That was like the famous thing from Woodstock. He kept going on the announcer, like “Everyone, please do not eat the brown acid.”

Carole Freeman:

I missed Woodstock. I didn’t go. Glad… Sounds like it was good I didn’t go.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, a friend of mine was on the cover of, I think it was Life or Time magazine from Woodstock. He’s a musician in Hawaii. But back in the day, he was like 19. And when… It was a cover of, I think it’s Life magazine, and he’s dancing with his dreadlocks up in the air. And he’s just a young kid, and it says, “Hippie festival, upstate New York.”

Carole Freeman:

Had to be there.

Simon Kaufman:

You know what’s a good movie though? The one with Demitri Martin about Woodstock. You should check that one out. That was a good movie.

Carole Freeman:

Okay.

Simon Kaufman:

Yep.

Carole Freeman:

Thanks.

Simon Kaufman:

Mm-hmm (affirmative). You’re welcome.

Carole Freeman:

Maybe we should wrap this up so I can go watch my movie homework.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. This brown acid is kicking in. I just… [inaudible 00:59:16] get out of here.

Carole Freeman:

Last week’s homework was I had to study Reverend Moon, and this week I got to go watch a movie [crosstalk 00:59:23].

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah, I got some good references. I feel I have some really good random historical references, like Wavy Gravy from Woodstock. He was the announcer. And what else?

Carole Freeman:

That’s what brought Lori here. She’s here for all of it.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. No, I feel like I have some… Yeah, I’m good like that. I feel like I’m good like that.

Carole Freeman:

Do you want to know what we’re going to talk about next week?

Simon Kaufman:

What?

Carole Freeman:

By request. This is actually one of my clients’ suggestion. I cover this next week, is going to be the top keto diet myths.

Simon Kaufman:

[crosstalk 00:59:58].

Carole Freeman:

She finds over and over again on all of our coaching calls… Most of the people that I’m working with have tried keto on their own. They got stuck, maybe they fell off and gained the weight back, or they just can’t quite figure out how to get the best results with it. So, she noticed this pattern then on the coaching calls, I’m constantly debunking all these myths that people thought they were doing keto right before they came to me, debunking all these things, and just some misunderstandings about what works and what doesn’t. That’s what we’re going to talk about next week. I got a whole list. I think I got like 12 things I’m going to cover already. And so, should be a good time.

Simon Kaufman:

Well, on my old radio station we used to play myth or fact, where the host would ask me a question, and I’d have to guess if it was a myth or a fact. We should play myth or fact.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, I should do it that way with you. I will write them up, and I’ll ask you if it’s a myth or fact. Ah, perfect.

Simon Kaufman:

Well that way everyone will know I’m a genius.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, my gosh. This is great. It’s like Simon Keto Trivia. Wonderful. I’m even more excited about next week.

Simon Kaufman:

Simon Keto Genius Trivia.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, yeah. And Simon will be in Hawaii by then. It’s only going to be like 03:00 in the morning when for you there then at this time. All right.

Simon Kaufman:

I’m going to be in Captain Cook. God, I wonder what the Internet’s like where I’m staying though, actually.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, boy.

Simon Kaufman:

I just though about. I’ll be in Captain Cook on Thursday, and I have a show that night in Captain Cook.

Carole Freeman:

All right, Susan’s wishing you having fun in Hawaii Keto Kaufman.

Simon Kaufman:

Thank you.

Carole Freeman:

Finding her, her doctor husband for her too.

Simon Kaufman:

“Ah, you need a doctor? He’s a really good guy.”

Carole Freeman:

Maybe your mom’s got somebody in mind for…

Simon Kaufman:

I don’t think Susan and my mom would be a match, but maybe.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, boy.

Simon Kaufman:

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you someone. Don’t worry.”

Carole Freeman:

Well, thanks, everyone, for watching today. We talked all about why we crave crunchy, what to do about it, keto friendly options to survive your crunchy cravings. Do you feel confident, Simon? You’ve got some crunchy options to [crosstalk 01:02:11]?

Simon Kaufman:

You satisfy me crunchily.

Carole Freeman:

Okay. That’s a compliment [crosstalk 01:02:13].

Simon Kaufman:

You satisfy the crunchy in me.

Carole Freeman:

The crunchy… When I think I need something crunchy, I think of you.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah.

Simon Kaufman:

Okay.

Carole Freeman:

Sues, Butterfly Sue, “Have fun in Hawaii, Simon. [crosstalk 01:02:36].”

Simon Kaufman:

Hey, Simon’s going to Hawaii. That way I don’t have to look as white. I could try to tan up a little bit to catch up with Keto crunchy Carole.

Carole Freeman:

Yeah. Thank you everyone for watching, being here. We love you guys for being here-

Simon Kaufman:

Love you.

Carole Freeman:

… The crew. Leave a review. We’ll get you a shout out on a future show. If you have any questions you want us to answer in upcoming episode, please let us know. We’d love to. Love your input and-

Simon Kaufman:

We’re taking bets for Simon on keto myth, or fact. Whether [inaudible 01:03:04] who’s going to vote, and bet that I’m going to win. Like how many [crosstalk 01:03:08] I can get.

Carole Freeman:

What percentage do you think he’s going to get?

Simon Kaufman:

What percentage is going to get? Yes, we’re taking bets.

Carole Freeman:

If he loses, then he has to wear a Speedo on our upcoming show in Chandler, Arizona.

Simon Kaufman:

I’m wearing a Speedo right now. Why do you think I never stand up? Why do you think I’d never stand up, Carole?

Carole Freeman:

All right. I knew that was a trick, yeah. Right. Well, I think that’s it.

Simon Kaufman:

All right.

Carole Freeman:

Don’t forget our catch phrase. We can’t end until you say it.

Simon Kaufman:

What is it? Oh.

Carole Freeman:

Help us grow, we’ll help you shrink.

Simon Kaufman:

Yeah. Help us grow. We’ll help you shrink. The crunch you love could be-

Carole Freeman:

Could be the crunch you need? No.

Simon Kaufman:

… could be something. Yeah, so leave a review, guys. Give us a shout out. Help us grow. We’ll help you shrink. Do keto. It’ll help you think. And do the dishes in your sink.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, yeah. When they stink. Is that the rule in your house? Do the dishes when they stink?

Simon Kaufman:

Pour a drink. Do the dishes in your sink.

Carole Freeman:

Before they stink? Okay. All right. This has gone too far. I think we-

Simon Kaufman:

That’s a new hit single from Chocolate Smooth.

Carole Freeman:

Oh, my gosh. All right. Thank you, all, for being [crosstalk 01:04:21].

Simon Kaufman:

All right, bye.

Carole Freeman:

We got to call it. We got to call it.

Simon Kaufman:

It’s all good.

Carole Freeman:

Bye, everybody. We’ll see you next week.